Maruaders...very interesting PVE ships. They are tough to get killz on for a variety of reasons.
First...They are very expensive. So...pilots think twice, maybe even thrice, about engaging someone in high-sec. As I've experienced...9 out of 10 times they don't shoot. Smart move, I'd say. And if they do shoot, they hide in station for weeks.
Second reason...they are built to salvage while they go. Tough for a ninja to "borrow" something when they scoop up all the loot as they go.
Imagine my surprise when I warp into a Maurader's mission, I "borrow" a nice Meta 4 and the guy immediately red-boxes me. Sigh...this will be a waste of the next 30 minutes. He won't be here when I come back.
Deorton > hey sarkor leave my shit alone mate
Sarkor Nafaar > why u shoot me
Sarkor Nafaar > ?
Deorton > cause u stole from me mate
Deorton > if u flash red i`m shooting bud
Pretty standard SOP...warp back to base, get Ganka-saurus, warp back to mission, and curse knowing "they always dock up Marauders".
However...this time is different. As Ganka-saurus is slow turning and just about to warp back to the mission...here comes the Vargur warping to station. C R A P ! The jig is up...he's spotted me in my gank ship! Poof...there goes the "element of surprise". Instead of canceling warp...I jet off to his mission-cursing my big slow Ding-Dong looking ship.
The MR docks in my base. (I'm watching him with my Logi alt) Then, surprisingly, he undocks in his big expensive ship and sits right in front of the base @ 0km. Lovely...docking games FTL.
Oh well.
Deorton > now ur a target
Sarkor Nafaar > i'm hiding
Sarkor Nafaar > ha ha
Deorton > why if u had asked i wpould havce givben it to you
Deorton > what u too scared to come and face me lol
Deorton > u little pussy
Deorton > what is that the best u can do is steal
Sarkor Nafaar > yes
Sarkor Nafaar > preety much
But there is something different this time. This guy is...er...taunting me?!? orly? That's a new one.
Deorton > what cant u fight me after u aggressed me
How can I kill this guy?...he'll just dock-up if it gets hairy for him. Eureka! I know....I'll use his stupidity against him. [Always bet on stupid]
H O O K
So...I'm at this guy's mission. I burn through some gates to find a lone can. I extend. [taking away any threat from corp mates as the corp timer expires]
I then jet back to the front of the base...[I have a BM just for this purpose]
I land on his head and I start lobbing torps at him...I chose to load torps that would go against his strengths. [I know,I know...but wait for it] He starts pounding me with guns and drones. I'm not even denting him...by design. I enter armor; after awhile, mind you...this IS a PVP ship, ya know.
So...at 1/4 armor left, I dock up. Here come the taunts...
Deorton > you poor little boy is want i can show u how to play the game lol
Deorton > if the best u got is steAL THEN SHAME ON YOU
Sarkor Nafaar > why?
Deorton > LET US SHOW U WHAT CAN BE BETYTEWR
Deorton > why cause that earns you pittance man
Sarkor Nafaar > sometimes steal good things
Deorton > i earn more in one mission than u earn in a week mater
Deorton > do u really want to continue
Deorton > come on man see sence plz
Deorton > i dont want to kill you but i will
Deorton > bye then bud lol
Sarkor Nafaar > :-)
Hook set.
L I N E
Let out some line for the big dumb fishy...
I tell him that's all I've got...dps wise. Poor me...lowly T1 ship. More taunts.
Deorton > is that the best5 u got bud
Sarkor Nafaar > yep
Deorton > u need more than that to beat me lol
Sarkor Nafaar > i see
Deorton > dont steal unless u can take it
S I N K E R
Let him swallow the sinker as well...
I undock...at 1/4 armor left! Trying to act as dumb as possible. Oh look...I'm so irresistable and defensless - I'm a killable target! Please shoot me some more. Pretty please! with cap boosters on top.
And what do you know. He bites!...out come his drones. New timer. Oh noes...he can't dock!
OK sports fans...here's what you don't know. Never once did I launch my drones (Ogre IIs) or use heat. I was Neut'ing him...so i know is cap is low already. And I have my Oneiros hovering on the other side of the base at 72km....I'm not gonna die anytime soon.
Time to reel this fish in!
This time I have the "right" torps loaded and out come my precious Ogre IIs. And the Torps go bright red...H E A T, baby. Neut is sucking his cap dry...again. NO boosts for you...Paco.
OMG...what's this? The MR's shields start melting! Muah ha ha.
Where are the taunts now? [Crickets] Thought so.
More bad news for Mister "I'm so bad" Vargur. The Oneiros fires up three large remote armor repairers! My armor bar climbs like a howler monkey with his tail on fire. About this time, a big huge "pout" forms on the MR's face. [imagination ftw]
At 3/4 of his shields gone (tank cracked) and my armor skyrocketing...this guy starts thinking to himself..."Self, time to bug out!" In come his drones, and his cannons are silenced. Not so fast, Lumpy.
Now it's...race time. Can I vaporize this guy before the re-dock timer elapses? This is where Ogre IIs really shine! Big huge chunks of armor go flying off into space. And structure right behind it. The Ninja God smiles. Scratch one expensive ship from existence.
Check out that fit...lulz.
Here's but a mere sample of the tears that squirt from my little cupcake's eyes over the next hour:
Deorton > fuck you cant do one on one hgad to bring ur friends you little4 possy
Deorton > u poor ;ittle bitch cant do a fair fight cant cope with out ur mates
Deorton > ahhhhhh pooor you
Sarkor Nafaar > u mad?
Deorton > u pussy bitch cant fight without matess lol
Sarkor Nafaar > i like your tears
Deorton > u little bitch need help yerah cant do it on ur own lol
Sarkor Nafaar > was your ship expensive?
Deorton > too lazy to do it own ur owen or too little lol
Sarkor Nafaar > emphasis on "W A S"
Deorton > fuck you hey iu goty more bitxch not hartd
Deorton > what the beszt u got is t1 lol
Sarkor Nafaar > you're still dead....from t1
Sarkor Nafaar > i have to question your skillz
Deorton > y thjat
Deorton > come on 2 -1 takes the piss
Deorton > too pussy to go one on one hah ha
Deorton > have to have ur mates tyher cause ur a pussy
Deorton > oh no answer pusssy boy
Sarkor Nafaar > ur still dead...lol
Sarkor Nafaar > i'm alive
Deorton > and it took you to outnumnber me to do so
Deorton > bitch
Deorton > cant do one on one or is that too hard lol
Sarkor Nafaar > Let me dial 911 and get you a WAAAAAAAAAAAAA-bulance....for those big squishy girl tears
Deorton > oh your a dead man
Sarkor Nafaar > [Refueling Operation Engaged]....[Whine pumps operational]....[Transferring your tears to Warp Core]...[Your QQ fuel me]
Sarkor Nafaar > actually i'm still alive....your are the dead guy
Sarkor Nafaar > please try to keep track of current events
Deorton > deAD U SUR BUD
Galmarr > Deorton, shut up already
Deorton > fuck you too bitch or bring it
Later...
Deorton > Where are you dick
Sarkor Nafaar > [Out of Office} Sarkor cannot take your call right now. Please leave your name and number and he'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is an emergency...try his cell @ 1-800-ura-tard.
Deorton > bring it bitch
Deorton > come on
Deorton > or is that the best u got
Deorton > oh pussy is that the best u got lo;l
Deorton > oh dear lol
Sarkor Nafaar > shhhhh...i can't concentrate...I'm selling your stuffz
Deorton > yeah what ever lol
Sarkor Nafaar > ok...done selling your stuff
Sarkor Nafaar > what do you need cupcake?
Deorton > come against me one on one or are u too scar3ed lo;
Sarkor Nafaar > after a billion isk loss...you still want more?
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