Null Sec

Went on an Alliance Op into Null Sec. A gate camp. Now I know...I know...I've read they are boring. I wasn't bored. Nope...not even close. Before I knew it...2.5 hours evaporated just like that. It was very exciting...for me. Really-I tried to kill stuff in my Rapier...honestly...either they were too far away or cloaky or too fast...

Even though I felt as useless as a football bat, I learned a metric crap ton of information:

- Like how bubbles work...as opposed to how I thought they worked

- What a "rolling Safe" was and how it works...

- The value of scouts...

- How to set up my overview to avoid mis-clicks...great tips from Arden and crew.

- How to step-up relevant safes in the target system...and what the "it's gone to shit" plan was...

Hope we can do more of that.

The Mega and the Smartbomb

We Ninjas in the Heimatar region fleet up for our nightly shennanigans...it's good to have friends to come and help out.

One intrepid ninja has been toying around with a Looting Ruppy. (Made popular by Aiden Mourn) It has advantages...like grabbing a point and pew-pewing without having to leave the mission. Unfortunately...it will eventually need some RR to stay alive.

So last night in the top secret local Ninja channel...

Apoc > Boxed!

I align my Oneiros and my RR Battle Phoon toward the sun...every second matters when you are in a cruiser and you have an angry bear shooting you.

Same goes for other Ninjas in system...Orcas align, Exequerors align, Ospreys align, etc. 5-6 ships in all.

Apoc > WARP!

The ruppy is in trouble! Party Time!

Upon exiting warp....WTF! I'm getting attacked?!?! I just got here. The Mega is red to me? huh?

Then Concord shows up to melt the offending criminal...

Somehow...we all showed up at the same time...and got hit by the Mega's Large Smartbomb! Of course, Concord didn't like that so much and ended the engagement quite quickly. The MR thought this was going to be a good thing...it did kill the ruppy's drones. He just didn't count on a Ninja fleet warping in at the same time. Smartbombs ain't so smart in highsec...mkay.

End result...one dead Mega AND a whole bunch of negative numbers in the Security Status panel!!

He emoragequit 5 secs later.

I R bad at maths...but 5 x criminal acts in a .8 system equals a one way trip to pain.

Scamming

OK...I am enamored by the sandbox. I find that this is one of the main reasons I play this game. A pretty novel concept: I get to decide how to play the game I purchased. And the developers..."let" me play it that way.

RL isn't fair...MMORPG games shouldn't be either. I get it. Most don't get it.

One thing that makes this game so amazing is the brutality that is EVE. Part of the brutality is scamming.

I am fascinated by scamming...for two reasons. First and foremost: self preservation. I have to be up-to-speed on the latest scams so I don't become a victim. (My corp has an award called the "Special Kinda Stupid" award. You receive this if you do something really stupid. I hope to never get it...) The second reason is the mechanics of a scam. I find this soooo interesting. Whether is be social engineering, creative use of game mechanics, etc., this makes scamming such an unique way to play the game.

I have been 'collecting' scams on my corps' forums...a running list of scams and how they work. (Kinda like magic tricks and their secrets) Some of them are very ingenious and seem like they would work well. The list is quite long.

This weekend...I moved from pure fascination to actually putting a few into action.

And the results were nothing short of amazing! 1 Billion isk over the two days.

Crazy easy money...plus, extremely entertaining! (Shout out to my Sensei...Herr Wilkus!)

And the really amazing thing...two of my marks KNEW I was scamming them! That's right! They knew beforehand and still went through with it! I'm at a lose for words here...

well done
From: Red Ozy
To: Sarkor Nafaar

too fast :(

This guy^ was told in local that my spam was a scam. He bit anyways. -275m isk for you.

quick clicker
From: Texas Bamf

To: Sarkor Nafaar

i thought i could beat ya to it but ya got me quick clicker

This guy^ knew it was a scam also!?! and thought he could somehow reverse the scam and win. -350m isk for you.

Somehow folks think that the scam I used was about how fast you "click". They are...mistaken. And poorer for it.

The next guy I scammed immediately EMORAGE logged...no e-mail, convo, or anything. -250m isk for you. However, he miraculously showed up in my home system the next day. (I put my "marks" on the watch list for a few days. <-Notice scammer lingo...lol..."marks"...love it. I feel like a real grifter)

Local:

Sarkor> Hi

Elephantosis> o/

Sarkor> u my new best friend?

Elephantosis> Yes

Sarkor> Cool...well...back to buying Officer mods with your isk. Cyas

Gonna do a Ninja vanish for awhile and pop up somewhere else...with another scheme. Good times ahead.

Yawn!

Ninjas are soooo boring. We do the same 'ole tiresome things...we salvage, we steal, yadda yadda. B o r i n g!

Take this carebear...I warp into the final room of a World's Collide mission. He's just finished the last room and for some reason is 50km from the Heron. He's motoring back to get his mission item.

I, of course, start liberating ATBs from large Angel wrecks. Yummy, sweet iskies flow into my cargohold.

Then I get this this in local:

Unconcerned MR > Yawn

Yeah Yeah...I know. I'm the dust under a flea's ass. Shoo away, you boring pest. You aren't worth my time. You bore me with your antics.

I reply:

Sarkor >> Ship's Crew...double yawn.

Let's see how boring I am.

Now Concerned MR > Dick!

Aha...not so boring. I do have an impact. I am relevant. I do "enhance" other people's gaming experience.

Sarkor > Wanna buy?...I make you good price...G.I.

Well now...rejecting my private contract is sooo rude. The manners of these bears are atrocious.

I R DUMB on TRADE

In a recent post...I mentioned I've been dabbling in other aspects of the game. Trade being the most...well...profitable.

For a ninja...I think trade skills are pretty important...now.

You see, up until a few weeks ago, I have been a complete moron when it comes to selling the stuff that I...er...borrow.

My modus operandi was to load up the Mammoth and fly to a hub...unload it, and mindlessly right click; sell item; rinse and repeat. I did well selling T2 modules from my ganks, but not the day to day crap I was amasssing. (I only had like 5-10 order slots)

Um...not too bright in retrospect.

I have come to embrace the market and all it's wonders. The results of this revalation are quite impressive. I spent a few weeks training trade skills and now I have 93 orders to play with. As long as I keep them active, my wallet blinks incessantly...which is pretty cool. I figure that I'm actually making 50% more isk for my thieving work. Plus I am trying buying low/selling high orders and it seems like easy money to fund my extra-cirricular activities.

Bottomline...Trade is cool. I am a convert now.

I also created a "Buyer" Alt on another acct. He just sits in another region and buys stuff (more cheaply than Heimatar), collects it, and transfers it to my main and he sells it off.

I view this as safer than investing my free cash with the MD crowd. (I trust me!)

Culling the herd

One of my favorite ninja tricks is what I call..."Culling the Dumb." I use this whenever the odds aren't in my favor.

Like the other night. I scanned down a Kronus, a Claymore, a Maelstrom, and a Hurricane in the same mission. Ok...not the greatest odds for a lone wolf ninja. So, just like a real wolf...I try to exploit any opportunity to "pick" off the dumbest member of the herd while the others are not able to...erm...interfere.

I board my trusty Vigil and jet off to the mission. In this case...AE; a multi-gate mission. Perfect. The plan is...steal...then wait. This makes me blinky red and the clock starts to wind down. I usually use this time to just salvage nice Angel wrecks.

The essence of this trick is to let the corp timer wind down to about 5 minutes, then jet through the other gates to find the herd of carebears. Once you find them, immediately align to base and hover over the warp button. You are trying to get just one of the carebears to shoot you. If one does...instantly warp before the others join in. The result is: you have a 15 minute timer on the dumb one, and a less than 5 minute timer on the corpies.

This works great because when you return...the corp timer is gone and the shooter is the only one that is a threat. The carebears never see it coming.

In this case...the Mael shot and I returned with Ganka-saurus. His friends got to watch his ship turn into a slagheap.

Since this trick doesn't allow much time for ship scanning...imagine my surprise at reading this KM: Maelstrom

Quite the expensive toy.

And here's the Coup d' grace:

Sarkor Nafaar > Thank you for choosing us for your gank. Your business means alot to us. We know you have choices to get your face torn off, but we appreciate that you chose us. You are a valued customer and we want to deliver the best gankage we can.

Cozmik R5 > XD

Frankslayer1982 > anytime

Frankslayer1982 > kinda sucks you aint turn red to everyone tho but a guess shit happens such is eve

Sarkor Nafaar > sorry...i used a diabolical ninja trick on you. By design, i didn't want the others to...erm...interfere.

Frankslayer1982 > well good kill then

Sarkor Nafaar > tyvm

By design!

Maurader Kill - Hook, Line, and Sinker

Maruaders...very interesting PVE ships. They are tough to get killz on for a variety of reasons.

First...They are very expensive. So...pilots think twice, maybe even thrice, about engaging someone in high-sec. As I've experienced...9 out of 10 times they don't shoot. Smart move, I'd say. And if they do shoot, they hide in station for weeks.

Second reason...they are built to salvage while they go. Tough for a ninja to "borrow" something when they scoop up all the loot as they go.

Imagine my surprise when I warp into a Maurader's mission, I "borrow" a nice Meta 4 and the guy immediately red-boxes me. Sigh...this will be a waste of the next 30 minutes. He won't be here when I come back.

Deorton > hey sarkor leave my shit alone mate

Sarkor Nafaar > why u shoot me

Sarkor Nafaar > ?

Deorton > cause u stole from me mate

Deorton > if u flash red i`m shooting bud

Pretty standard SOP...warp back to base, get Ganka-saurus, warp back to mission, and curse knowing "they always dock up Marauders".

However...this time is different. As Ganka-saurus is slow turning and just about to warp back to the mission...here comes the Vargur warping to station. C R A P ! The jig is up...he's spotted me in my gank ship! Poof...there goes the "element of surprise". Instead of canceling warp...I jet off to his mission-cursing my big slow Ding-Dong looking ship.

The MR docks in my base. (I'm watching him with my Logi alt) Then, surprisingly, he undocks in his big expensive ship and sits right in front of the base @ 0km. Lovely...docking games FTL.

Oh well.

Deorton > now ur a target

Sarkor Nafaar > i'm hiding

Sarkor Nafaar > ha ha

Deorton > why if u had asked i wpould havce givben it to you

Deorton > what u too scared to come and face me lol

Deorton > u little pussy

Deorton > what is that the best u can do is steal

Sarkor Nafaar > yes

Sarkor Nafaar > preety much

But there is something different this time. This guy is...er...taunting me?!? orly? That's a new one.

Deorton > what cant u fight me after u aggressed me

How can I kill this guy?...he'll just dock-up if it gets hairy for him. Eureka! I know....I'll use his stupidity against him. [Always bet on stupid]

H O O K

So...I'm at this guy's mission. I burn through some gates to find a lone can. I extend. [taking away any threat from corp mates as the corp timer expires]

I then jet back to the front of the base...[I have a BM just for this purpose]

I land on his head and I start lobbing torps at him...I chose to load torps that would go against his strengths. [I know,I know...but wait for it] He starts pounding me with guns and drones. I'm not even denting him...by design. I enter armor; after awhile, mind you...this IS a PVP ship, ya know.

So...at 1/4 armor left, I dock up. Here come the taunts...

Deorton > you poor little boy is want i can show u how to play the game lol

Deorton > if the best u got is steAL THEN SHAME ON YOU

Sarkor Nafaar > why?

Deorton > LET US SHOW U WHAT CAN BE BETYTEWR

Deorton > why cause that earns you pittance man

Sarkor Nafaar > sometimes steal good things

Deorton > i earn more in one mission than u earn in a week mater

Deorton > do u really want to continue

Deorton > come on man see sence plz

Deorton > i dont want to kill you but i will

Deorton > bye then bud lol

Sarkor Nafaar > :-)

Hook set.

L I N E

Let out some line for the big dumb fishy...

I tell him that's all I've got...dps wise. Poor me...lowly T1 ship. More taunts.

Deorton > is that the best5 u got bud
Sarkor Nafaar > yep
Deorton > u need more than that to beat me lol
Sarkor Nafaar > i see
Deorton > dont steal unless u can take it

S I N K E R

Let him swallow the sinker as well...

I undock...at 1/4 armor left! Trying to act as dumb as possible. Oh look...I'm so irresistable and defensless - I'm a killable target! Please shoot me some more. Pretty please! with cap boosters on top.

And what do you know. He bites!...out come his drones. New timer. Oh noes...he can't dock!

OK sports fans...here's what you don't know. Never once did I launch my drones (Ogre IIs) or use heat. I was Neut'ing him...so i know is cap is low already. And I have my Oneiros hovering on the other side of the base at 72km....I'm not gonna die anytime soon.

Time to reel this fish in!

This time I have the "right" torps loaded and out come my precious Ogre IIs. And the Torps go bright red...H E A T, baby. Neut is sucking his cap dry...again. NO boosts for you...Paco.

OMG...what's this? The MR's shields start melting! Muah ha ha.

Where are the taunts now? [Crickets] Thought so.

More bad news for Mister "I'm so bad" Vargur. The Oneiros fires up three large remote armor repairers! My armor bar climbs like a howler monkey with his tail on fire. About this time, a big huge "pout" forms on the MR's face. [imagination ftw]

At 3/4 of his shields gone (tank cracked) and my armor skyrocketing...this guy starts thinking to himself..."Self, time to bug out!" In come his drones, and his cannons are silenced. Not so fast, Lumpy.

Now it's...race time. Can I vaporize this guy before the re-dock timer elapses? This is where Ogre IIs really shine! Big huge chunks of armor go flying off into space. And structure right behind it. The Ninja God smiles. Scratch one expensive ship from existence.

Check out that fit...lulz.

Here's but a mere sample of the tears that squirt from my little cupcake's eyes over the next hour:

Deorton > fuck you cant do one on one hgad to bring ur friends you little4 possy

Deorton > u poor ;ittle bitch cant do a fair fight cant cope with out ur mates

Deorton > ahhhhhh pooor you

Sarkor Nafaar > u mad?

Deorton > u pussy bitch cant fight without matess lol

Sarkor Nafaar > i like your tears

Deorton > u little bitch need help yerah cant do it on ur own lol

Sarkor Nafaar > was your ship expensive?

Deorton > too lazy to do it own ur owen or too little lol

Sarkor Nafaar > emphasis on "W A S"

Deorton > fuck you hey iu goty more bitxch not hartd

Deorton > what the beszt u got is t1 lol

Sarkor Nafaar > you're still dead....from t1

Sarkor Nafaar > i have to question your skillz

Deorton > y thjat

Deorton > come on 2 -1 takes the piss

Deorton > too pussy to go one on one hah ha

Deorton > have to have ur mates tyher cause ur a pussy

Deorton > oh no answer pusssy boy

Sarkor Nafaar > ur still dead...lol

Sarkor Nafaar > i'm alive

Deorton > and it took you to outnumnber me to do so

Deorton > bitch

Deorton > cant do one on one or is that too hard lol

Sarkor Nafaar > Let me dial 911 and get you a WAAAAAAAAAAAAA-bulance....for those big squishy girl tears

Deorton > oh your a dead man

Sarkor Nafaar > [Refueling Operation Engaged]....[Whine pumps operational]....[Transferring your tears to Warp Core]...[Your QQ fuel me]

Sarkor Nafaar > actually i'm still alive....your are the dead guy

Sarkor Nafaar > please try to keep track of current events

Deorton > deAD U SUR BUD

Galmarr > Deorton, shut up already

Deorton > fuck you too bitch or bring it

Later...

Deorton > Where are you dick

Sarkor Nafaar > [Out of Office} Sarkor cannot take your call right now. Please leave your name and number and he'll get back to you as soon as possible. If this is an emergency...try his cell @ 1-800-ura-tard.

Deorton > bring it bitch

Deorton > come on

Deorton > or is that the best u got

Deorton > oh pussy is that the best u got lo;l

Deorton > oh dear lol

Sarkor Nafaar > shhhhh...i can't concentrate...I'm selling your stuffz

Deorton > yeah what ever lol

Sarkor Nafaar > ok...done selling your stuff

Sarkor Nafaar > what do you need cupcake?

Deorton > come against me one on one or are u too scar3ed lo;

Sarkor Nafaar > after a billion isk loss...you still want more?

Dabbling

Been trying different aspects of the game...

-Exploration...flying around looking for Radar/Mag/combat sites. I found one site that gave me 48 million in stuffz. However...they are hard to find, as I have found out.

-Got a Research Agent going...making free stuffz.

-Trade...really starting to like this. I acquire tons of stuff through...well...theft. Now I can sell it smarter. I have also dropped some cash on buy orders (low)...then weekly fly around an pick it up and sell (high) in a mission hub. I put together a spreadsheet...I'm getting 50%+ profit. Some items are ridonkulously profitable. I call it Trade Ganking. Really...how lazy can you be to sell me something for .01 isk? Pretty easy money with little to no effort while watching T.V....filling my Mammoth.

-POS Scouting. Started flying around looking for offline, non-allied POSs for potential-bashing. First night...much success.

-My Security Status stealing is going well... have a comfortable status now...time to Suicide Gank for Profit!!!! But sitting on a gate; clicking passive targeter...cargo scan...rinse/repeat...suxxor boring. (Looking for that stoopie Plex hauler!!!)

Double Tap

What's better than killing a carebear?

Killing two carebears at the same time!

Double Tap. Pow...Pow! Pow...Pow!

I've gotten a few double kills lately...one right after the other. These are very exhilrating...quite the heart-pounding fun.

The first was a Tengu/Tempest combo:

Tengu
Tempest

and the most recent was a Abaddon/Domi kill:

Abaddon
Domi

In both cases, the second kill came from a feeble attempt to save the first carebear via RR. This, as you can see, turns out badly for the RR Hero.

There is a misconception among carebears that they are safe amongst friends and that they can win a fight against a PVP ship. Not often does that occur.

Next up...try to kill 3 carebears at a time!

Memory...it's kinda important

Pop Quiz Time!!!! Ready?

Question #1: What happens to a carebear that "forgets" that he shot a "ninja" two hours prior?

Answer: Badness. Like in..."you die, byatch"...badnesss.

So...this nimrod...AKA Carebear, shoots Van Drakk...then leaves the mission.

And the system.

And the region.

Time and distance = safety, right? (2 Hours + a bunch of jumps away = Hi Sec Bliss)

Van Drakk...however, relishes the "hunting" aspect of the kill. It's called "Over-zealous, Relentless Pursuit of the Gank." The Drakkster extends on the target for two hours+.

Um...like that's crazy sick. Demented. I mean...move on...look for easier prey. Extends for 2+ hours...gah, really?!? What warped "sicko" does that!?!

(Oh yeah...we do!!!!!)

While the Drak is busy using Secret Ninja Tricks...Urkal flys around looking for this guy.

And flys.

And flys.

And Flys. System after system.

Urkal finally locates him...many jumps away. Succcess!!!

However, Urkal can't zero in on this guy using his Cov Ops scanner (sooo many carebears). And time is running out. So he tries for a more direct...sneaky...approach. "Use the Carebear against himself."

Like hunting Elk...Urkal uses a "mating call" to bring the Carebear (they are dumb as a stump, don't ya know) into shooting range. No Carebear can resist this primal, in-grained urge to...MISSION...it's in their DNA!

Urkal > Hello Azzerone, i was wondering if you could help me with something m8

Urkal > I'm in sort of a pinch on this mission in avesber and i came looking for some help

Urkal > if you could help me finish this mission i'll give you some isk, i really need the loyalty points

Azzerone > what level&

Urkal > lvl 4

Urkal > id

Urkal > give you about 10 milllion

Urkal > its the gist extravaganza

Urkal > we can do the bonus room if you like

Azzerone > no need - lets go, ill c what i can do, but im doin 3lv now\

Urkal > alright sounds good

Azzerone > fleet me

Bah ha ha ....so Van Drakk makes haste to get to the target's system. All the while, Urkal stalls...

Well, as you can imagine...this doesn't end well for our intrepid, good samaritan Carebear. He gets fleet warped to Planet 1 where a salivating Van Drakk waits in a Gank ship.

"Come to Papa!"

Urkal > you ready for fleet warp?

Azzerone > sure

Azzerone > where r u

Urkal > im in my scanner ill put you there

Urkal > then ill get my battleship

Urkal > whered you go?

Urkal > :) thanks

Azzerone > ok

Ransom time....

[09:03:54] Van Drakk > 50 mil and ill let you go
[09:03:59] Azzerone > ok
[09:04:08] Van Drakk > pay and ill stop
[09:04:13] Azzerone > stop shootin im not even targetin
[09:04:19] Van Drakk > k i stopped
[09:04:37] Azzerone > how would i know
[09:04:45] Van Drakk > im a man of my word
[09:04:56] Azzerone > we ll see
[09:05:06] Van Drakk > hurry man
[09:05:09] Van Drakk > or ill shoot again
[09:05:12] Van Drakk > you have 10 seconds
[09:05:30] Van Drakk > fly safe

Oh noes...Betrayal!

Death ensues.

[09:05:39] Van Drakk > and my advice would be
[09:05:41] Van Drakk > to never
[09:05:42] Van Drakk > ever
[09:05:46] Van Drakk > shoot a fuckin ninja
[09:06:05] Azzerone > i hadnt
[09:06:12] Azzerone > u r a hore
[09:06:50] Van Drakk > tears nom nom
[09:07:28] Azzerone > i dont care really)
[09:07:34] Van Drakk > that's nice

Urkal...polite as ever.

Urkal > thanks for your help
Azzerone > sure dick
Urkal > well fly safer

Another notch in the Carebear hunting rifle...

Hi...Help me Gank you! KKthksbye

Edition IV of SECT OR's self help series:

How to kill yourself 101: (tuition free)

[07:44:29] KunoH > moin
[07:44:36] Van Drakk > don't worry van drakks got all the slavaging here
[07:44:39] Van Drakk > ill be the janitor
[07:44:47] Van Drakk > just tellin ya
[07:44:57] KunoH > okay
[07:51:02] Van Drakk > you wanna do me a favor m8?
[07:54:13] Van Drakk > i want to test my transversal velocity think you could stick your drones on my i wanna see if i can elude them
[07:54:26] Van Drakk > me*
[07:55:23] KunoH > first, i go to the other gate^^
[07:55:37] Van Drakk > what do you mean?
[07:55:39] KunoH > you can loot if you want
[07:55:53] Van Drakk > yeah i know
[07:57:07] Van Drakk > you gonna stick your drones on me?
[07:57:15] Van Drakk > i wanna test my piloting skills
[07:57:26] KunoH > jepp
[07:57:47] KunoH > 44 km
[07:57:53] KunoH > ist the range
[07:58:01] Van Drakk > kk put em on me
[07:58:23] Van Drakk > i might have to warp out if they almost kill me
[07:58:48] Van Drakk > geez they are fast
[07:58:59] Van Drakk > thanks man
[07:59:05] Van Drakk > seems i need to work on some zig zag tactics
[07:59:14] KunoH > you welcome
[07:59:49] Van Drakk > im gonna repair my ship
[07:59:54] Van Drakk > you gonna finish your mission?
[08:00:00] Van Drakk > so i can salvage some more
[08:00:20] KunoH > jepp

Really?!?...you freely gave a Ninja agro in Hi Sec? Kill meh, kill meh kill meh!

[08:08:29] KunoH > this way?
[08:09:38] Van Drakk > 30 mil and ill let you go
[08:10:04] Van Drakk > whats it gonna be?
[08:10:23] KunoH > you dreaming
[08:10:31] Van Drakk > well your ships gona die then
[08:11:15] Van Drakk > it's still not too late
[08:11:21] Van Drakk > 25 mil and ill let you go
[08:11:29] KunoH > no way
[08:11:36] Van Drakk > lol alright lowest ill go is 20
[08:12:22] KunoH > no way not for zhis
[08:12:26] KunoH > this

[08:12:54] Van Drakk > 10 mil final offer

Poof...he dies.

Thus ends the lesson.

This game just got more "Brutal..."

So I just realized the impacts of the latest content delivery...Tyrannis.

I just bought an Arazu so i could play around in Wormhole space...flew around, buying cool stuff to fit it out. Before leaving base, I hit the Insurance Button.

Whoa.

I mean...Whoa.

If this ship dies...I get squat back.

It didn't quite register in my pea-brain when reading the Patch notes that insurance was getting re-calculated - and the impact.

So, instead of wallowing in disbelief, I chose to rejoice in the fact that when I kill someone's ship in game - it's gonna S U C K more for carebears!!!!! [Like the guy I killed in the prior post]

I like this.

I like this alot.

Oh Noes...Weapons Malfunction...sorry..all is well

Internet spaceships are serious business. We're talking very complicated pieces of hardware that allow us to zip around the universe doing what we do... Sometimes, however, accidents happen in space. May it be from bad luck, lack of Preventive Maintenance on key sub-systems or pilot...er...em... error.

Sarkor Nafaar > Good Morning
Clinkar > so WTF ?
Sarkor Nafaar > Seems I had a weapons malfunction
Sarkor Nafaar > These crappy Minmatar ships are held together with duct tape and chewing gum
Clinkar > well can u kindly refund the ransom ?

He's mad I took his moneyz and blowed him up

Sarkor Nafaar > I will query the nearest station for repairs at once...i assure you
Clinkar > i dont understand ?
Sarkor Nafaar > Well, you see, the astrometric systems on these ships is, sad to say, not up to ASDE standards....
Sarkor Nafaar > Gravity fields and ion pulses severly mess with the targeting systems
Clinkar > aha so whats ur point ?
Sarkor Nafaar > I really need to buy some shielding so that weapons amlfunctions don't happen again...
Clinkar > ok but that doesnt answer my question will u refund my ransom

Wut? You want your 30 million back?!? Really?

Sarkor Nafaar > I'm in station now...talking to the repair supervisor...oddly enough, he's quoting 30 million! Imagine that...crazy how prices have skyrocketed since the galactic councel has opened up planets for extraction
Sarkor Nafaar > I guess it will be safer for all pilots if I repair my targeting systems...we wouldn't want any more "accidents", now would we?
Clinkar > why be an ass man u wanted ransom so i payed the u destroy it anyways and get jack shit for it
Clinkar > well ill see what my alliance says about it anyways
Sarkor Nafaar > That truely is unfortunate, but we, together, as a team, have discovered a serious flaw in my targeting systems...
Sarkor Nafaar > This truely is fortunate....on many levels
Clinkar > yeap that there is a retard in control of it
Clinkar > good day to you to and may we meet in the future

lol...a retard that didn't SHOOT @ a N E E N J A!

Bad, Worse, and Horrible

BAD

When you pay a Ninja 50 million to let your Navy Issue Raven go AND the Ninja keeps shooting you. RANSOM BETRAYAL!

WORSE

When you pay another 50 Million to the same Ninja that betrayed the first 50 Million, hoping this time he'll honor it. WRONG...more Betrayal! I mean, really. Is there no bottom to the ocean of stupidity!?

HORRIBLE

The realization that, after dumping 100 million, you are going to lose your ship. What kind of gut-wrenching anguish must be felt when you know you are a tard (another 50 million after the first Betrayal?) AND you decide to self-immolate your own Billion isk ship! Wow...just...wow.

Chat:

AOSA > what do you want
AOSA > money?
AOSA > I'll give
Van Drakk > yeah
Van Drakk > 50 mil should cover it
AOSA > hope much?
AOSA > hello
AOSA > how much?
Van Drakk > 50 mil
AOSA > stop shooting I promise I'll so it
AOSA > that was me
AOSA > k leave now

[Torps start firing again....ooops wrong button]

AOSA > dude what the hell do you want
AOSA > you win?
Van Drakk > 50 more mil and i swear ill leave you alone
AOSA > the stop
AOSA > I have
AOSA > it
Van Drakk > not until i get the money
Van Drakk > i wont stop
AOSA > let me warp
Van Drakk > not gonna let you warp
Van Drakk > i need the 50 mil first
AOSA > then how can i trust you?
Van Drakk > because im an honorable man
AOSA > Please?
AOSA > how about 1000000000.0
AOSA > I have that
AOSA > let me warp and its yours
AOSA > think about it
AOSA > I('m serious
AOSA > its my Blackops fund
AOSA > everything I have
Van Drakk > 50 mil right now or you die
AOSA > done
AOSA > well that was fun
AOSA > to bad
AOSA > I really do have that much
Van Drakk > i don't doubt that
Van Drakk > thanks for the money

[OMG! the Torps start again!!! Crazy]

[AOSA Initiates self destruct of his Navy Issue Raven]

AOSA > well glad your happy with your self
AOSA > btw was that my self destruct or you?
Van Drakk > your self destruct
AOSA > oh good
AOSA > not that it mattered
AOSA > I trying getting the other guy to take of the Mission bs
AOSA > then I'd have been nokay
AOSA > you know we could legit had a match?
AOSA > I have PvP ships
AOSA > so what don you do for a living?
AOSA > Oh come you don't like small talk?
AOSA > okay how about thisw one can I have 50mil back?
AOSA > lol
AOSA > you know you could've kept milking that
AOSA > that alt that I gave you money from has 3 bil
AOSA > lol
AOSA > do any WH ops? I do with that other account
Van Drakk > your tears fuel me nom nom nom
AOSA > good, good, more for me and you
AOSA > weird thing is months ago I'd have been pissed, but I'm really not
AOSA > lol
AOSA > I'm just talking to ya
Van Drakk > well i'm glad getting sodimized is ok with you
AOSA > figure why not
AOSA > yeah
AOSA > sodimzied
AOSA > you do know how pathetic that sounds
AOSA > so you're a rappist good job
AOSA > I'm proud for you
Van Drakk > more tears nom nom
AOSA > I hate you so much
Van Drakk > Tis' a shame, i like you lots, people like you make me rich

Van Drakk...a bright and upcoming terror in the SECT OR Ranks!

Latent Tears - Truely Epic Tears

Pilot Interaction...it's what makes Eve so different from other MMORPGs. In the "Sandbox", great and wonderful things can happen. And on the flip side, dark and horrible things can happen also.

We, as Ninjas, can have a L A S T I N G impact on our fellow pod pilots.

Take this poor guy. One bad decision can change your game experience for months. (Try that in WOW - ain't happening)

Private Convo Starts:

Urkal > how may i help you

idk706 > im still upset with you for what you did 105 days ago

Urkal > wait let me check

Urkal > o yes i remember :) the sansa side

Urkal > funny thing was i didnt realize how expensive your ship was back then

idk706 > i hate you.......

idk706 > im so...sad...

Urkal > have you been able to replace it yet?

idk706 > fuck no

idk706 > im down to 20 mil, mining ice ina retreiver

Urkal > yikes well what have you been doing since then?

idk706 > you ruined my eve life destroying that billion isk ship...it was my investment

idk706 > training fora chimera....

idk706 > making an honest living and just mining....

Urkal > well couldnt you have like gotten into a maelstrom or raven and missioned again to replace it?

idk706 > i cant fly minmmie ships, and i dont have torpedo skills....i trained all my sp into turrets....thats why my skills are so advanced in that genre

Urkal > yea get into a tempest and mission again

Urkal > although i could understand why you wouldnt again

idk706 > you dont understand the sorrow and grief i experienced

Urkal > can you try to explain?

Urkal > what did you do the second after?

idk706 > I was scolded by my superiors

Urkal > really?

idk706 > right after that, i took a break, for a little while

idk706 > yes, really

idk706 > it was literally the sadest day of my life....i thought i cried, but im sure i didnt

Urkal > didnt you shoot at me and then warp out to find me at the first room

Urkal > then you scared me off and went back in the second

Urkal > and thats where i found you?

idk706 > i shot you because my corpies told me to, i shot you because that was our hard work that you were just simply taking away from us....then you come back to destroy it even more

Urkal > yea sorry about that i almost picked your buddy instead of you but id never seen a nightmare before

Urkal > at least you and your corp wont bother ninjas again

idk706 > we have people for ninjas now

idk706 > people like me, i destroy people that steal our corps hard earned salvage

Urkal > wait you guys made a special team just for me?

idk706 > for ninjas and can tippers all around

idk706 > they call in people for back up, we come in

idk706 > thats why my only combat ship is a cruiser

Urkal > ahhh so they come in with disruptor and kill the ninjas

idk706 > webbs ofcourse because you bastards are oh so fast with your little mwds and vigils

idk706 > i loved that ship urkal

idk706 > me and that ship have been together a while...

Urkal > good times with it?

idk706 > very, i remember when i first bought it, i started armor tanking it, heh, bad mistake

idk706 > getting ownd ina L4 solo, but i pulled through, refitted and kicked ass when i got that dread booster

idk706 > i would give anything to have it again....

Urkal > youll get another some day

idk706 > i hope.....i really do

Urkal > how long does a mission runner/miner take to get that much?

idk706 > when u killed me, you told me, u scanned me before and saw my [Faction] shield booste,r and wanted it

Urkal > yea i did

Urkal > i wanted to sell it for quick isk

idk706 > well, ice mining is 7.25mil and hr with prestige ice mining skills in a mackinaw, so about 1300hrs of mining, on average a mission gives out 10mil in bounty/salvage/and loot, but it varies so about 100 missions witch are about 45-1hr each

Urkal > you should ninja

idk706 > no, i dont want bad standings, besides were forbidden to do any can tipping/ninja salvaging and scamming in our corp

Urkal > well they should help you replace your ship

Urkal > for telling you to shoot me in your dreamship

idk706 > its been to long now, people have forgotten, besides they denied that request, since it was to expensive to replace

idk706 > did you use t2 repeating artillery and torps on me?

Urkal > torps all the way

idk706 > because i was tanking that missions, witch i rarely do plus you armor tanked...with has high resist against my lasers

Urkal > yea you had no chance i knew your resists and your damage

Urkal > just a bad call to shoot and not leave

idk706 > i didnt know youd come back in a fucking phoon fitted against me

Urkal > not many people do

Urkal > :) its how i make a living

idk706 > besides, i thought id pop you, but my tracking wasnt as good

idk706 > thats sad

idk706 > damn, its almost 10, gunna finish this cycle, get some dinner then go do some drugs i guess and drink some beer and fuck my wife....

Urkal > LOL

Urkal > alright man, ill seeya later i truely am sorry

Killmail

End Transmission for the Trail o' Tears

Truely Epic Tear squirting there.

Suicide Hanky Panky

Ya never know what you'll find when you log into EVE...

On logging in recently...I peruse the screen. Hmmmm....SECT OR public channel blinking?

[We use this channel to communicate with local Ninja Corps so we can "assist" each other in our shenanigans]

Looks like time for some fun...

A friendly Ninja Corp, one system over, has a WTFROFL2CRAZYFIT Rattlesnake pinned down. However, the ganker can't break his tank. They are callin' for a GANK SQUAD to come in and turn the tide.

Bink! I recall that T.E.A.R.S has been doing some pretty funny ganking, as of late...lets put out the call.

Jump into Alliance Channel and tell the story...Rattlesnake pinned for 3 hours; 3000 torps fired; uber tank fueled by uber expensive faction gear...ninjas need assist to get this guy down....yadda...yadda.

Well, of course, the mention of faction loot and seriously ruining someone's day is too much for the Ninjas to handle...Gankers come out of the woodwork. Soon we are fielding a fleet of Gankpests/Ravens, etc...

Pretty simple really: Fleet up, meet at the Sun...Fleet Warp, Target, Fire...watch my ship wither under Concords' guns...go pop...quickly go to Security Status tab to see the damage [never been Concorded!]...laugh...try to calculate how long it will take to repair my SS....more laughing, much more laughing.

Success: Pop goes the BS

AND...great loot drops! Very profitable little operation.

But the pain keeps coming. The MR must of been AFK during the suicide gank. [yeah right, go figure...three hours watching some Raven try to bust your tank...gah, snore] His little pod never warped away. 3+ Billion isk ship means....that's right sports fans...probably really expensive implants. Poof! Pod is no more. However, a one-way ticket to .5 space for Zavulon Sukkot. :-(

Lesson for everyone...Never, Ever Shoot a Ninja.

1000 DPS

RAWR

This is the sound that a mission runner hears when they get pounced on by a ship that pushes out over 1000 dps. Yep...I can fly a Gank ship that has passed this milestone.

Oh yeah sports fans...that's NON-heated! This is just plain old..."Release the Krakken" dps. Setting the Krakken on fire and kicking him squarely in nads...well now...that is a silly 1119 dps. And I'm not even done yet with my Gank-a-saurus Phoon o' Doom. No. No. Silly bear. Not done by a long shot. More DPS being added soon.

AND...at a healthy 107k ehp...this beast can take a few shots and keep dishin' the hurt. (not done here either...cupcake)

Really?

Hubris 2

This guy tries to reverse Ransom me...WTF is that anyways?

Heshmiet > ransome 10 million
Heshmiet > you stole
Heshmiet > we have camp at each gate and station
Sarkor Nafaar > wut?
Heshmiet > 10 million or you go pop
Heshmiet > my corp mates
Heshmiet > locked the system down
Sarkor Nafaar > really? [time to stall]
Sarkor Nafaar > how many in your corp?

[In comes Ganka-saurus...and i have a point]

Sarkor Nafaar > how bout you pay me 10 million
Sarkor Nafaar > lol
Sarkor Nafaar > and hurry
Sarkor Nafaar > hurry
Sarkor Nafaar > pay
Sarkor Nafaar > ok....you didn't pay

He pops...

Then when 3 Corpies warp-in to the system...he gets ballsy...love the tears...nom...nom.

Heshmiet > come on out Sarkor
Heshmiet > don't be alittle girl
Heshmiet > come on out Sarkor
Heshmiet > scared
Sarkor Nafaar > sssshhh...I'm busy selling your stuff, can't concentrate with all these tears.

Hubris

Hubris:
–noun
excessive pride or self-confidence; arrogance.

This can be a bad thing to use when dealing with a Ninja...we're un-predictable, we're sneaky, we're bold.

So...when a Ninja warps into your mission and you have lots of friends with you...that's not the time to piss off the Ninja. Ninja's don't care that you have five friends with you...5 v 1 means nothing to a Ninja.

Oh yeah...and don't do this:

Frost Kaiser > To All Pilots: First to kill Sarkor Nafaar will receive 500,000 isk, last seen in a vigil

Bad move...dopey.

Now Sarkor wants to killz your really expensive ship. So...what Sarkor wants, Sarkor gets.

Max Gades > aww no wreaks for you! [Shooting all the wrecks...whoa, that always works!?]

GANK INBOUND...his friends watch in horror as Frost's Navy Scorp assplodes...

Sarkor Nafaar > except yours Frost
Sarkor Nafaar > Thank you for choosing Sect Or for your mission gank....we know you have a choice...thank you for choosing us.
Sarkor Nafaar > whoa...expensive ship...ouch
Sarkor Nafaar > Frost Kaiser > To All Pilots: First to kill Sarkor Nafaar will receive 500,000 isk, last seen in a vigil...er...a gank ship sodomizing me.
Sarkor Nafaar > lol
Sarkor Nafaar > fixed

Jopa Galfini > not gettin much now are you Sarkor? [still shooting all the wrecks...]
Sarkor Nafaar > Does Frost's loot count?
Sarkor Nafaar > then yes, I'm getting richer
Sarkor Nafaar > :-)

Here's some added funny: Jopa was flying a Typhoon...so I re-named my Typhoon...Jopa Galfini's Typhoon. If they were scanning for me...confusion!?! Additionally, Max Gades was in the prior room to Frost...he saw me burning through and didn't warn his buds...bah ha ha.

I got a bunch of spam from these dopes in mail....fake corp apps, love letters, etc. I love when my customers are pleased at my services.

Hat-Trick

In sports, a hat-trick (or hat trick) means to achieve a positive feat in the sport three times during a game.

In EVE, a hat-trick means someone is having a real shitty gaming experience.

Introducing...Butnot. Butnot was having a lovely evening with some buddies in a mission. He's flying a repping Domi. His buds are in 3 x Ravens and a Hurricane (salver). Everyone in the mission was in a nub corp. This was Butnot's mission...so when i stole from a wreck...only Butnot had agro.

So...Butnot, surrounded by friends, thinks it's a great idea to shoot me. (he's basically un-armed except for his drones...he's the mission repper) Safe, right? I mean there are 3 Ravens here. Now it's the beginning of a really bad evening for Butnot.

Back I come with Ganka-saurus. I have to burn through 5 gates...and find him in the last room with his buds. He was aligned and warped away. So...i follow. After alittle cat and mouse...we both end back on Gate 1. He goes...poof.

Normally, that's where the story ends. Oh no...this guy is a brilliant player. I'm back at base selling his crap...then I say to myself...lets go back to the mission and see what's up. Back in the vigil...I warp back in. Um...wtf? Dude is back in the mission with another Domi. Really?!? I mean...come on...Really? I burn through all the gates...and there he is with his buds. My timer is gone, but the Hurricane hasn't managed to get to all the wrecks yet. Muah ha ha...so i loot another wreck. In come the Domi's drones...yeah agro again. Laughing back to station...I'm savoring another kill...but i know the mission is over...he's gonna run.

There are three gates in "my"system...I have to guess where this chump is going to go. I warp to a gate...and wait on the other side. Sure enough...the dimwit comes through...poof. Kill #2.

By now...most players who get spanked this hard are gonna start thinking..."wow...I gotta spend alittle time learning about Agro timers". Nope...not this guy.

So...as i'm scooping up the loot from the second kill...I see his little pod go back through the gate.
Hmmm...where could he be going? I follow. When I get through the gate, he's not in system. Strange. Then it dawns on me...the tard is going to go buy another ship! rofl...HE'S GOING TO RENS!!!! OMG...no, please tell me this guy isn't THAT stupid.

So...I burn towards Rens. I wait in the neighboring system...yep, you guessed it, at the gate. 12 minutes later...guess who pops through the gate in a shiny new Domi (hopefully insured...numbnuts) Just in time and agro is still mine. Poof. Kill #3.

Yep...pretty stupid.

"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. "
Harlan Ellison
US science fiction author & screenwriter (1934 - )

Fail Ninjas

Funny RL Ninja Fail:

Ninja Fail #1

Ninja Fail #2

New Depths of Evil

So...how mean and despicable can you be in this game? It's a sandbox...you can be quite heinous. Here is the story of: Divinebeing

Divine was a recent victim of Sect Or. After his gank at the hands of Urkal, he strikes up a convo with him. "GF...taught me a lesson, etc. etc." Urkal talks to this guy for an hour. Then the guy says..."hey...come kill the rats in my mission...at least let me have the bounties"...so Urkal comes in and helps him complete the mission. Now they are best buddies. Divine starts asking about the Ninja way. He's interested...since his corp is an "all but dead" mission runing corp. He apps to Sect Or. Really?!? LOL...you can not hide from us now. YOU ARE IN OUR CORP.

In comes Divine...happy to be in the corp. "Welcome" says all the greedy ninjas. "Glad you're here" says I.

"We're running a Lvl 4, wanna come? "Sure" says Divinebeing.

Divine warps to the gate to be welcomed, NEENJAH STYLE, into the corp. He dies a pissed off pilot.

Urkal > you need some dps help there isnt anyone to gank tonight
DivineBeing > im actually nearly finnished lol. but thatnks tho
Urkal > alright let me know if that changes
Urkal > back in the scan boat
DivineBeing > dam i cant fit all my stuff on my domi lol
Urkal > haha not enough powergrid?
Van Drakk > how much does an andromedin power absorber go for now a days?
DivineBeing > ye the powergrid is a bish. only cuz im trying to fit x2 armor reps tho lol
Van Drakk > yeah its bullocks
DivineBeing > and i have not a clue what that even is van
Van Drakk > bloody hell its only the best defensive module ever
Van Drakk > nah im just joshin with ya m8 its for anotha game
DivineBeing > oh ok
Urkal > it would be overpowereed
Van Drakk > yeah it would destroy those wankas
Urkal > hey van you wanna help me do my first lvl 4 i cant complete it and i dont want to lose my faction standing
Urkal > i need more dps or something
Van Drakk > you can take that lvl 4 and shove it straight up your arse you cheeky plonker
Van Drakk > i would but im going afk
Van Drakk > maybe sar or divine will help
Urkal > wheres our carebears when you need them
DivineBeing > lol
DivineBeing > how long you got left on the mission bonus timer?
Urkal > non :( i had it since yesterday i get sensor jammed i need someone to go take them out so i can dps before my tank breaks
DivineBeing > i think its funny that you can pop me but you cant a lv4 npc xD
DivineBeing > i'll help in a bit
Urkal > haha
DivineBeing > who is it against?
Urkal > well you didnt damp me to 5km sensor range
Urkal > its against the serpantis
DivineBeing > ah, maybe i should next time ;D
DivineBeing > ok. system?
Urkal > frarn
Urkal > wanna fleet up?
DivineBeing > kk, 2 jumps over
DivineBeing > you got any fleet bonues?
Urkal > yea a few
DivineBeing > like?
Urkal > 4% to shields agility and armor
DivineBeing > ah ok. pretty good then
Urkal > so the plan is im gonna jump in and get the aggro
Urkal > and you are gonna pop those annoying dampers
DivineBeing > lol
DivineBeing > well im still just finnishing my mish
Urkal > alright no rush
Urkal > the timers gone :(
DivineBeing > lol
Urkal > but you can spilt the reward and the loyalty points ><
Urkal > this is my last mission lol
DivineBeing > HOLY CRAP
Urkal > im a pve nub
Urkal > ?
DivineBeing > wow, i nearly got popped
DivineBeing > i got warp scrambled and didnt notice til 1/4 armor
DivineBeing > im on fire lmao
Urkal > whew
Urkal > be careful man
DivineBeing > imma go back to my normal domi
Urkal > i didnt know reats could scamble
DivineBeing > i aint loosing this one
DivineBeing > my domi fleet issues butt is on fire
DivineBeing > ok, imma strip this domi and equip my old one again. i'll come help you
Urkal > alright i dont expect to go down on tho you should be fine if you dont want the hassel
Urkal > dont think any of these guys scrambled me last time
DivineBeing > well my domi is better than my fleet issue currently cuz of the rigs
DivineBeing > serpentis right?
Urkal > yea
DivineBeing > ok coming
Urkal > should be able to warp to me
DivineBeing > you tanking or you want me to?
DivineBeing > what are you doing
DivineBeing > wtf are you doing?!
DivineBeing > hey stop shootingme!
DivineBeing > im here to help you wtf
DivineBeing > dude i cant replace this stop!
DivineBeing > STOP
DivineBeing > WTF?!
Van Drakk > that was initiation
Van Drakk > appparently you failed ?
DivineBeing > WHAT?!"
DivineBeing > i went to help him on his fucking mission and he kills me
Urkal > oh crap i was afk
DivineBeing > BULLSHIT YOU WERE
Van Drakk > i think his dog rofl stomped you
Van Drakk > by bashing his paws on the keyboard
DivineBeing > wtf was that for?!
DivineBeing > so you can take my stuff againj?!
Urkal > im a ninja
DivineBeing > your a fucking dickhead3
Van Drakk > whats a dickhead 3
Van Drakk > is that the third level of dickhead?
DivineBeing > im leaving corp. goodluck expanding
Van Drakk > why leave? we can be friends still
Urkal > my agent actually told me to do it its a ninja mission
Van Drakk > man that was funny
Urkal > omg i cant believe he fell for it

Ninja 101...steal everything!! Multiple times, if you can.

Invincible...Bah!

OK...I lied. In my last post, I stated:

...a Logistics ship makes you invincible.

Obviously not so. When you drop in on a Navy Mega, and the Logi ship is at zero km (DUDE! 74KM range ship...use it!) from it's repping tgt...you know you have some Ace Pilots here. The Oneiros went down in one millisec after repping the Mega's shields at 95%?!??! (Love the bonuses on the ship...not shield repping!!!) Um...didn't even wait until the Mega was even in trouble.

So...I must restate:

...a logistics ship makes you invincible; if you aren't stooooooooopppppid!

Vulcan Mindlink - Download Ninja Ways

Whoa...it's been awhile. Let's catch up. After joining T.E.A.R.S., we had a combined 4 active wars going...they didn't last long...by design. Learned a valuable lesson from the Ohhithere crew...a Logistics ship makes you invincible. I gotta tell you...as a Ninja, I'm stealin' that tactic. Enough about that. [T minus 35 days]

What else?

I have been a sponge. Soaking up information. I have voraciously read every single forum post on the SN/T.E.A.R.S website. The combined wealth of knowledge gleened from that site has given my toolbox a whole host of new devious tricks. How successful are the new tools?...very! They have been paying big dividends!

New Alliance - T.E.A.R.S.

SECT OR is proud to be part of the best Alliance in game. I have been working towards this goal for some time. We have been dilligent studies of the Ninja way and have joined the elite. We look forward to terrorizing the universe with these like-minded professionals.

Bait and Switch

This blog is all about my, albeit twisted, perspective of accounts that happen in EVE. But what about the perspective of the other guy…their perspective is important…right? Let’s see if I can get into the other’s guys mind about what happened last night:

[Transfering neural pathways of Nathan Harbatkin - Transfer complete]

Ah…almost finished with this mission…
Boom…and there is the mission item…the Archives Passkey….got it - tucked away safely in my Raven’s hold. Let’s get the heck outta her….e….er

WTF? Who’s that? [The impudence!]
Dammit! A Ninja. Wow…he’s red…Thief!! Stealing my stuff! WTF!
I’ll target him…maybe I can scare him off.
Hmm…that didn’t work.
Better get my Salvage/loot boat…it’s gonna be a race!

[I come back in my Coercer]

He he…he’s gone…I’ll grab all this stuff before he can steal it all...

{15 minutes elapse}

Aw…WTF…he dropped my stuff into his can. I guess he couldn’t carry it all in a Vigil.
{I open it} Whoa…lots of good stuff in there.
Hmmm…that Ninja guy is still in local. Timer has worn off. It’s been awhile.
I know…I’ll flip it back!!!
Ha ha…It’s back in my can now. Take that Ninja Bitch!

Let me unload and come back.

{Warps to station…Sees Ninja in a Rifter}

Punk…I took my stuff back!!!!
Gotta dock…yes…unload loot…and out again.

{Rifter is burning to me}

Too slow stupid…and away I go.
Back to looting/salving…

{Rifter warps in}

Persistent little punk…I‘ll fix him.
Time to school this kid…back to station for my lil “Lesson Giver”

{Coercer warps back to station}

OK…let’s see…Fitting…get rid of the Cruise Missile launchers…gonna need something small – good tracking to waste this punk. T2 150mms ACs w/ T2 ammo should suffice. Oooo…Assault missile launchers!…small missiles/wicked fast…nice. That Rifter will try to orbit…close in! Missiles and ACS…this dope is dead. Really dead.

OK…let’s have some fun! Raven of Death…undocking! Boy…is this Ninja gonna be surprised!

Aha…there he is…right outside station…He’s toast!!!!!

He’s actually targeting me…silly Ninja.

{Sarkor’s Typhoon Warp Scrambles Nathan Hartbotkin’s Raven}

Um…T Y P H O O N !?! Where is the RIFTER!!!!!???!!!!!

{Torpedo blast waves emanate from the Raven}

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…Get drones out. Tank is holding…er…maybe not.

{Typhoon responds with T2 Berserkers}

Oh no….this is bad.

Dock, Dock, Dock…

{Unable to comply with Docking command}

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

{Poof!}

$%^5 Ninja (*&%^* &&%&)) Mother^&*(( &%% &*^%%^)0

{EMO Logs}

[Neural Transfer Terminated]

Imagine my surprise in reading this kill mail…what was he thinking!!!!
I contracted the Passkey back to him…he actually bought his stuff back from me…lol.

Lucy...the neighbors don't like us....

Wow...our neighbors really don't like us...we seem to have a "reputation".

Van Drakk > muahahahah
darkcrimson > hey
darkcrimson > u want to give me back my mission item?
Jaynis Kobb > Lemme guess, was it Sarkor?
Jaynis Kobb > Or Urkel :P
darkcrimson > yep
darkcrimson > sarkor
Jaynis Kobb > You'd be better off finding it of a market or contract for cheap
Jaynis Kobb > They're jsut a bunch of carebears who run a corp around here bothering noobs.

Sold it back to him...easy money.

How to silence a Dimwit...

This guy, Cercis, whined for an hour...tears are one thing, but "Old Faithful" tears are another. Notice: Little prompting from our corpies to get tears. These were just his free-flowing tears:

[ 2010.02.10 22:55:24 ]
Cercis InoAtari > come out to playyyyyy
Birdman Ravo > There were 3, not 2.
Cercis InoAtari > ya i know
Cercis InoAtari > lol they neuted me
Birdman Ravo > I miss the old days, when 1 vs 1 really meant it.
Cercis InoAtari > ya
tsukubasteve > why not invite some friends to play then?
Cercis InoAtari > well like i said
Cercis InoAtari > theyre holed up
tsukubasteve > or even the odds with some heavy dps and logistics..
Cercis InoAtari > like cougars children
Cercis InoAtari > playin with their moms dentures
Cercis InoAtari > what can i say?
Birdman Ravo > Again with the cougars... =p
Van Drakk > you want to fight again?
Cercis InoAtari > u missed it m8
Van Drakk > you get in your big bad ship now eh?
Cercis InoAtari > hehe
Cercis InoAtari > urkal....
Cercis InoAtari > bring your friends
Birdman Ravo > Victory for Cercis?
Cercis InoAtari > yes
Cercis InoAtari > i won
Cercis InoAtari > and now i want him to bring his friends
Birdman Ravo > Typhoon went pop?
Cercis InoAtari > and know i will kill them all
Cercis InoAtari > i want it too
Cercis InoAtari > but its hiding
Cercis InoAtari > urkal
Cercis InoAtari > come
Cercis InoAtari > bring ur friensd
Birdman Ravo > HAHA. Panzy ass pirates. Link me the killmails when you're done, I'll post it on the forums. =)
Cercis InoAtari > lemme give them all an ass whoopin
Birdman Ravo > Sad thing is, if they left 1vs1 as it was, they could have avoided this humiliation.
Cercis InoAtari > indeed
Cercis InoAtari > i wanna kil all 3 of them and this time im willing to take em all on
Cercis InoAtari > knowing in fact that i will be
Cercis InoAtari > im out here waiting
igso1001 > the respect is grather than a ship
igso1001 > lol
igso1001 > finish what you have started
igso1001 > my opinion
Cercis InoAtari > agreed
igso1001 > stoled from your cargo?
Cercis InoAtari > i bit more than that m8\
Cercis InoAtari > u missed the dealio
igso1001 > inescapavel - have fun stealing from cargos
igso1001 > :)
Cercis InoAtari > sarkor
Cercis InoAtari > im desiorious to fight you
Cercis InoAtari > go get ur best pvp ship
Cercis InoAtari > and comekick my ass
Jaynis Kobb > I don't think he will
Jaynis Kobb > Him and his corp haven't learned their lesson from fucking with the wrong people. Jaynis Kobb > They got wardecced before and station camped.
Cercis InoAtari > lol
Cercis InoAtari > well today i have my sik pvp boat here
Jaynis Kobb > Another time, they tried to take down a Raven.
Cercis InoAtari > and i reqallllly want one or more of them to show
Cercis InoAtari > frigates
Cercis InoAtari > or bs
Cercis InoAtari > dont matter
Cercis InoAtari > theres some peeps gonna die around here
Jaynis Kobb > They think they're pirates, but they're too much of carebears to go into low sec
Jaynis Kobb > And apparently they aren't good enough to get into Suddenly Ninjas
Jaynis Kobb > :p
Cercis InoAtari > i been to low sec
igso1000 > rats are staiyng sillent
Slymah > dont kill me! im just a noob doing missions
Cercis InoAtari > its harsh
Cercis InoAtari > but doable
Cercis InoAtari > lol
Cercis InoAtari > im getting the feeling this corp isnt liked around here
Cercis InoAtari > i say people should join me if interested
Cercis InoAtari > i will leave my corp just to fight them
Cercis InoAtari > i dont care
Jaynis Kobb > I don't give a fulip about them. I jsut find the whole thing funny to watch. :]
igso1000 > inescapa is in the system
igso1000 > same corp?
Jaynis Kobb > Yup.
Cercis InoAtari > yes
Jaynis Kobb > Never seen him before, msut be a new guy.
Cercis InoAtari > ya
Cercis InoAtari > they r getting some peeps to gather and fight me
Cercis InoAtari > so looks like im gonna be ganged
Cercis InoAtari > lol
Cercis InoAtari > loosers
Cercis InoAtari > lmao
igso1000 > don't think so
igso1000 > rats stay hidden
Cercis InoAtari > lol
igso1000 > chickens
Cercis InoAtari > urkal
Cercis InoAtari > come out to play with your ceo
Cercis InoAtari > plz and thank you
Cercis InoAtari > i have some dentures here for you...
Cercis InoAtari > see killing my ishkur was a mistake
Cercis InoAtari > now im going to make it my thing to haunt ur m8s while im here
Cercis InoAtari > and iom staying for a long time
igso1000 > :))
igso1000 > what have the done?
Jaynis Kobb > They're woulda be Ninjas
igso1000 > they*
Jaynis Kobb > Who prey on the weaker new guys doing lvl1s around here
igso1000 > did it for mee to
igso1000 > bud ignered them
igso1000 > cercis how they poped you?
Jaynis Kobb > No he popped them apaprently..lol
igso1000 > aham
igso1000 > going to sleep - nothing is happening here :)
Cercis InoAtari > oi
Cercis InoAtari > i killed the rifter but
Cercis InoAtari > they brought in a phoon
Cercis InoAtari > and suked me cap: (
Cercis InoAtari > that wont happen again
Cercis InoAtari > i can promise u
Birdman Ravo > At this rate, the aggression time will run out.
March rabbit > hi all
Birdman Ravo > Rabbit you missed the drama! War! Lasers! Frigates!
Birdman Ravo > So Sarkor, your rage embodies itself in you bumping his ship in a vigil?
Cercis InoAtari > lol
Cercis InoAtari > its not over yet
Cercis InoAtari > hes still circling me
Cercis InoAtari > the ceo
Cercis InoAtari > is playing chicken
Cercis InoAtari > that just proves
Birdman Ravo > Docking for something to drop.
Cercis InoAtari > THEIR CORP
Cercis InoAtari > i alrdy droppped em something
Cercis InoAtari > they r too scarred
Birdman Ravo > qasd do you farm this plex every day, or only when I show up?
[ 2010.02.11 00:12:58 ]

Time to put this guy in his place... he's been crying for a hour!

Sarkor Nafaar > For those just joining us...here is the TLDR: Dope falls for 1v1 vs. three day old rifter...brings T2 Frig, kills nub rifter, ooo I'm so leet!..OMG a tarp!...Dope's T2 Frig pops...Dopey cries incessantly...yadda, yadda. Call them scared...but you r a tard.

Well sports fans...not another peep outta this guy all night.

Save me the trouble...

So...I scan down a Machariel in a Worlds Collide mission...and start taking his stuff. I'm alittle nervous if he shoots, don't know if my gankboat is up to the task of taking this big thing down...and no corpies around to lend RR support.

Then to my horror...one of the NPC frigates scrams him...strange!?! Why wouldn't you kill those first? Um...he's going....going...BOOM. Wow...I just watched some tard lose a billion+ isk ship. ROFL!

So...me thinks to myself..."Sark, what kind of modules does a Machariel have?" [simultaneuosly directing my Vigil to the slagheap of his really expensive wreck]

Muah ha ha...MINE MINE MINE

FACTION LOOTZ!

To add insult to injury...I send the guy a mail to add salt to the wound and try for some tears...



Salvage Bill - PO# 3456543
From: Sarkor Nafaar
Sent: 2010.01.21 02:05
To: Vasani,

Dear Sir/Ma'am:

Please remit the sum of 20million isk for service rendered:

-Hazardous Waste Disposal: (Live ammo left from Machariel destroyed) 5million
-Salvage Service: Disposl of clutter from mission site 5million
-Module Reclamation (3x Faction Cannons, 2x Faction Gyrostabs) 5million
-Navigation Hazard Marking and Buoy Rental: 5million

Please make checks payable to:

SECT OR Salvage Services, Inc.
Illinfrik
Pator Station

Sigh...no tears, but lots o' isk in my wallet.

You want what?

A refund? What?!?...you got to be kidding, dude. Check out his guy:

--------------------------------
killed after paying ransom
From: Hostile Jones
Sent: 2010.01.05 18:06
To: Sarkor Nafaar,

ONE OF YOUR PIRITES HELD ME FOR RANSOM TODAY 20 MIL ISK I PAID THEN HE KILLED ME ANYWAY HIS NAME IS URKAL. sorry for caps ay any rate is that the reputation your corp wants that even if you pay ransom they kill you i lost around 50 mil in isk from ship plus the 20 mil i paid him not alot but still 70 mil is 70 mil isk i would like it if you have him pay me 70 mil thanks
Hostile Jones

Ps was thinking of joining but I will only join a pirate corp that has dignity i hope you do.

____________________
Re: killed after paying ransom
From: Sarkor Nafaar
Sent: 2010.01.06 01:21
To: Hostile Jones,

Hi Mr. Hostile

I regret to inform you we have no pirates in this corp. We are a thieving corp. All members of the corp are thieves. Urkal is a thief. I am a thief. We are all thieves here.

Here is how professions stack up in EVE.

Carebear Group:
Miners
Researchers
Industrialists
Scientists
Mission Runners
Explorers
------------------
Semi-bad folks:
0.0 PVPers
Low-Sec PVPers
FW Players
Logistics Support
----------------
Bad Folks:
Pirates
Red Folks
Gankers
Suiciders
----------------
The Scum and Detritus:
Thieves (Ninjas)

As you can see...Pirates are nice folks compared to thieves. As to ransom...Pirates Ransom. Pirates have Reputations. Thieves...well...we steal stuff. If we could steal someone's reputation or dignity, we would.

Urkal stole from you. You shot at him. He stole more from your wallet. Then he stole the loot from your wreck. It's our profession. That's what we do. If Urkal gave your money back, he would be a pretty sorry thief and I'd have to expel him from the corp.

So...in summary...don't shoot at a Ninja. I know it will be hard...with a name like Hostile, but you should really try not to shoot at folks. You were the architect of your own demise.

Have a great EVE cycle...Sark