Bad, Worse, and Horrible

BAD

When you pay a Ninja 50 million to let your Navy Issue Raven go AND the Ninja keeps shooting you. RANSOM BETRAYAL!

WORSE

When you pay another 50 Million to the same Ninja that betrayed the first 50 Million, hoping this time he'll honor it. WRONG...more Betrayal! I mean, really. Is there no bottom to the ocean of stupidity!?

HORRIBLE

The realization that, after dumping 100 million, you are going to lose your ship. What kind of gut-wrenching anguish must be felt when you know you are a tard (another 50 million after the first Betrayal?) AND you decide to self-immolate your own Billion isk ship! Wow...just...wow.

Chat:

AOSA > what do you want
AOSA > money?
AOSA > I'll give
Van Drakk > yeah
Van Drakk > 50 mil should cover it
AOSA > hope much?
AOSA > hello
AOSA > how much?
Van Drakk > 50 mil
AOSA > stop shooting I promise I'll so it
AOSA > that was me
AOSA > k leave now

[Torps start firing again....ooops wrong button]

AOSA > dude what the hell do you want
AOSA > you win?
Van Drakk > 50 more mil and i swear ill leave you alone
AOSA > the stop
AOSA > I have
AOSA > it
Van Drakk > not until i get the money
Van Drakk > i wont stop
AOSA > let me warp
Van Drakk > not gonna let you warp
Van Drakk > i need the 50 mil first
AOSA > then how can i trust you?
Van Drakk > because im an honorable man
AOSA > Please?
AOSA > how about 1000000000.0
AOSA > I have that
AOSA > let me warp and its yours
AOSA > think about it
AOSA > I('m serious
AOSA > its my Blackops fund
AOSA > everything I have
Van Drakk > 50 mil right now or you die
AOSA > done
AOSA > well that was fun
AOSA > to bad
AOSA > I really do have that much
Van Drakk > i don't doubt that
Van Drakk > thanks for the money

[OMG! the Torps start again!!! Crazy]

[AOSA Initiates self destruct of his Navy Issue Raven]

AOSA > well glad your happy with your self
AOSA > btw was that my self destruct or you?
Van Drakk > your self destruct
AOSA > oh good
AOSA > not that it mattered
AOSA > I trying getting the other guy to take of the Mission bs
AOSA > then I'd have been nokay
AOSA > you know we could legit had a match?
AOSA > I have PvP ships
AOSA > so what don you do for a living?
AOSA > Oh come you don't like small talk?
AOSA > okay how about thisw one can I have 50mil back?
AOSA > lol
AOSA > you know you could've kept milking that
AOSA > that alt that I gave you money from has 3 bil
AOSA > lol
AOSA > do any WH ops? I do with that other account
Van Drakk > your tears fuel me nom nom nom
AOSA > good, good, more for me and you
AOSA > weird thing is months ago I'd have been pissed, but I'm really not
AOSA > lol
AOSA > I'm just talking to ya
Van Drakk > well i'm glad getting sodimized is ok with you
AOSA > figure why not
AOSA > yeah
AOSA > sodimzied
AOSA > you do know how pathetic that sounds
AOSA > so you're a rappist good job
AOSA > I'm proud for you
Van Drakk > more tears nom nom
AOSA > I hate you so much
Van Drakk > Tis' a shame, i like you lots, people like you make me rich

Van Drakk...a bright and upcoming terror in the SECT OR Ranks!

Latent Tears - Truely Epic Tears

Pilot Interaction...it's what makes Eve so different from other MMORPGs. In the "Sandbox", great and wonderful things can happen. And on the flip side, dark and horrible things can happen also.

We, as Ninjas, can have a L A S T I N G impact on our fellow pod pilots.

Take this poor guy. One bad decision can change your game experience for months. (Try that in WOW - ain't happening)

Private Convo Starts:

Urkal > how may i help you

idk706 > im still upset with you for what you did 105 days ago

Urkal > wait let me check

Urkal > o yes i remember :) the sansa side

Urkal > funny thing was i didnt realize how expensive your ship was back then

idk706 > i hate you.......

idk706 > im so...sad...

Urkal > have you been able to replace it yet?

idk706 > fuck no

idk706 > im down to 20 mil, mining ice ina retreiver

Urkal > yikes well what have you been doing since then?

idk706 > you ruined my eve life destroying that billion isk ship...it was my investment

idk706 > training fora chimera....

idk706 > making an honest living and just mining....

Urkal > well couldnt you have like gotten into a maelstrom or raven and missioned again to replace it?

idk706 > i cant fly minmmie ships, and i dont have torpedo skills....i trained all my sp into turrets....thats why my skills are so advanced in that genre

Urkal > yea get into a tempest and mission again

Urkal > although i could understand why you wouldnt again

idk706 > you dont understand the sorrow and grief i experienced

Urkal > can you try to explain?

Urkal > what did you do the second after?

idk706 > I was scolded by my superiors

Urkal > really?

idk706 > right after that, i took a break, for a little while

idk706 > yes, really

idk706 > it was literally the sadest day of my life....i thought i cried, but im sure i didnt

Urkal > didnt you shoot at me and then warp out to find me at the first room

Urkal > then you scared me off and went back in the second

Urkal > and thats where i found you?

idk706 > i shot you because my corpies told me to, i shot you because that was our hard work that you were just simply taking away from us....then you come back to destroy it even more

Urkal > yea sorry about that i almost picked your buddy instead of you but id never seen a nightmare before

Urkal > at least you and your corp wont bother ninjas again

idk706 > we have people for ninjas now

idk706 > people like me, i destroy people that steal our corps hard earned salvage

Urkal > wait you guys made a special team just for me?

idk706 > for ninjas and can tippers all around

idk706 > they call in people for back up, we come in

idk706 > thats why my only combat ship is a cruiser

Urkal > ahhh so they come in with disruptor and kill the ninjas

idk706 > webbs ofcourse because you bastards are oh so fast with your little mwds and vigils

idk706 > i loved that ship urkal

idk706 > me and that ship have been together a while...

Urkal > good times with it?

idk706 > very, i remember when i first bought it, i started armor tanking it, heh, bad mistake

idk706 > getting ownd ina L4 solo, but i pulled through, refitted and kicked ass when i got that dread booster

idk706 > i would give anything to have it again....

Urkal > youll get another some day

idk706 > i hope.....i really do

Urkal > how long does a mission runner/miner take to get that much?

idk706 > when u killed me, you told me, u scanned me before and saw my [Faction] shield booste,r and wanted it

Urkal > yea i did

Urkal > i wanted to sell it for quick isk

idk706 > well, ice mining is 7.25mil and hr with prestige ice mining skills in a mackinaw, so about 1300hrs of mining, on average a mission gives out 10mil in bounty/salvage/and loot, but it varies so about 100 missions witch are about 45-1hr each

Urkal > you should ninja

idk706 > no, i dont want bad standings, besides were forbidden to do any can tipping/ninja salvaging and scamming in our corp

Urkal > well they should help you replace your ship

Urkal > for telling you to shoot me in your dreamship

idk706 > its been to long now, people have forgotten, besides they denied that request, since it was to expensive to replace

idk706 > did you use t2 repeating artillery and torps on me?

Urkal > torps all the way

idk706 > because i was tanking that missions, witch i rarely do plus you armor tanked...with has high resist against my lasers

Urkal > yea you had no chance i knew your resists and your damage

Urkal > just a bad call to shoot and not leave

idk706 > i didnt know youd come back in a fucking phoon fitted against me

Urkal > not many people do

Urkal > :) its how i make a living

idk706 > besides, i thought id pop you, but my tracking wasnt as good

idk706 > thats sad

idk706 > damn, its almost 10, gunna finish this cycle, get some dinner then go do some drugs i guess and drink some beer and fuck my wife....

Urkal > LOL

Urkal > alright man, ill seeya later i truely am sorry

Killmail

End Transmission for the Trail o' Tears

Truely Epic Tear squirting there.

Suicide Hanky Panky

Ya never know what you'll find when you log into EVE...

On logging in recently...I peruse the screen. Hmmmm....SECT OR public channel blinking?

[We use this channel to communicate with local Ninja Corps so we can "assist" each other in our shenanigans]

Looks like time for some fun...

A friendly Ninja Corp, one system over, has a WTFROFL2CRAZYFIT Rattlesnake pinned down. However, the ganker can't break his tank. They are callin' for a GANK SQUAD to come in and turn the tide.

Bink! I recall that T.E.A.R.S has been doing some pretty funny ganking, as of late...lets put out the call.

Jump into Alliance Channel and tell the story...Rattlesnake pinned for 3 hours; 3000 torps fired; uber tank fueled by uber expensive faction gear...ninjas need assist to get this guy down....yadda...yadda.

Well, of course, the mention of faction loot and seriously ruining someone's day is too much for the Ninjas to handle...Gankers come out of the woodwork. Soon we are fielding a fleet of Gankpests/Ravens, etc...

Pretty simple really: Fleet up, meet at the Sun...Fleet Warp, Target, Fire...watch my ship wither under Concords' guns...go pop...quickly go to Security Status tab to see the damage [never been Concorded!]...laugh...try to calculate how long it will take to repair my SS....more laughing, much more laughing.

Success: Pop goes the BS

AND...great loot drops! Very profitable little operation.

But the pain keeps coming. The MR must of been AFK during the suicide gank. [yeah right, go figure...three hours watching some Raven try to bust your tank...gah, snore] His little pod never warped away. 3+ Billion isk ship means....that's right sports fans...probably really expensive implants. Poof! Pod is no more. However, a one-way ticket to .5 space for Zavulon Sukkot. :-(

Lesson for everyone...Never, Ever Shoot a Ninja.

1000 DPS

RAWR

This is the sound that a mission runner hears when they get pounced on by a ship that pushes out over 1000 dps. Yep...I can fly a Gank ship that has passed this milestone.

Oh yeah sports fans...that's NON-heated! This is just plain old..."Release the Krakken" dps. Setting the Krakken on fire and kicking him squarely in nads...well now...that is a silly 1119 dps. And I'm not even done yet with my Gank-a-saurus Phoon o' Doom. No. No. Silly bear. Not done by a long shot. More DPS being added soon.

AND...at a healthy 107k ehp...this beast can take a few shots and keep dishin' the hurt. (not done here either...cupcake)

Really?

Hubris 2

This guy tries to reverse Ransom me...WTF is that anyways?

Heshmiet > ransome 10 million
Heshmiet > you stole
Heshmiet > we have camp at each gate and station
Sarkor Nafaar > wut?
Heshmiet > 10 million or you go pop
Heshmiet > my corp mates
Heshmiet > locked the system down
Sarkor Nafaar > really? [time to stall]
Sarkor Nafaar > how many in your corp?

[In comes Ganka-saurus...and i have a point]

Sarkor Nafaar > how bout you pay me 10 million
Sarkor Nafaar > lol
Sarkor Nafaar > and hurry
Sarkor Nafaar > hurry
Sarkor Nafaar > pay
Sarkor Nafaar > ok....you didn't pay

He pops...

Then when 3 Corpies warp-in to the system...he gets ballsy...love the tears...nom...nom.

Heshmiet > come on out Sarkor
Heshmiet > don't be alittle girl
Heshmiet > come on out Sarkor
Heshmiet > scared
Sarkor Nafaar > sssshhh...I'm busy selling your stuff, can't concentrate with all these tears.

Hubris

Hubris:
–noun
excessive pride or self-confidence; arrogance.

This can be a bad thing to use when dealing with a Ninja...we're un-predictable, we're sneaky, we're bold.

So...when a Ninja warps into your mission and you have lots of friends with you...that's not the time to piss off the Ninja. Ninja's don't care that you have five friends with you...5 v 1 means nothing to a Ninja.

Oh yeah...and don't do this:

Frost Kaiser > To All Pilots: First to kill Sarkor Nafaar will receive 500,000 isk, last seen in a vigil

Bad move...dopey.

Now Sarkor wants to killz your really expensive ship. So...what Sarkor wants, Sarkor gets.

Max Gades > aww no wreaks for you! [Shooting all the wrecks...whoa, that always works!?]

GANK INBOUND...his friends watch in horror as Frost's Navy Scorp assplodes...

Sarkor Nafaar > except yours Frost
Sarkor Nafaar > Thank you for choosing Sect Or for your mission gank....we know you have a choice...thank you for choosing us.
Sarkor Nafaar > whoa...expensive ship...ouch
Sarkor Nafaar > Frost Kaiser > To All Pilots: First to kill Sarkor Nafaar will receive 500,000 isk, last seen in a vigil...er...a gank ship sodomizing me.
Sarkor Nafaar > lol
Sarkor Nafaar > fixed

Jopa Galfini > not gettin much now are you Sarkor? [still shooting all the wrecks...]
Sarkor Nafaar > Does Frost's loot count?
Sarkor Nafaar > then yes, I'm getting richer
Sarkor Nafaar > :-)

Here's some added funny: Jopa was flying a Typhoon...so I re-named my Typhoon...Jopa Galfini's Typhoon. If they were scanning for me...confusion!?! Additionally, Max Gades was in the prior room to Frost...he saw me burning through and didn't warn his buds...bah ha ha.

I got a bunch of spam from these dopes in mail....fake corp apps, love letters, etc. I love when my customers are pleased at my services.

Hat-Trick

In sports, a hat-trick (or hat trick) means to achieve a positive feat in the sport three times during a game.

In EVE, a hat-trick means someone is having a real shitty gaming experience.

Introducing...Butnot. Butnot was having a lovely evening with some buddies in a mission. He's flying a repping Domi. His buds are in 3 x Ravens and a Hurricane (salver). Everyone in the mission was in a nub corp. This was Butnot's mission...so when i stole from a wreck...only Butnot had agro.

So...Butnot, surrounded by friends, thinks it's a great idea to shoot me. (he's basically un-armed except for his drones...he's the mission repper) Safe, right? I mean there are 3 Ravens here. Now it's the beginning of a really bad evening for Butnot.

Back I come with Ganka-saurus. I have to burn through 5 gates...and find him in the last room with his buds. He was aligned and warped away. So...i follow. After alittle cat and mouse...we both end back on Gate 1. He goes...poof.

Normally, that's where the story ends. Oh no...this guy is a brilliant player. I'm back at base selling his crap...then I say to myself...lets go back to the mission and see what's up. Back in the vigil...I warp back in. Um...wtf? Dude is back in the mission with another Domi. Really?!? I mean...come on...Really? I burn through all the gates...and there he is with his buds. My timer is gone, but the Hurricane hasn't managed to get to all the wrecks yet. Muah ha ha...so i loot another wreck. In come the Domi's drones...yeah agro again. Laughing back to station...I'm savoring another kill...but i know the mission is over...he's gonna run.

There are three gates in "my"system...I have to guess where this chump is going to go. I warp to a gate...and wait on the other side. Sure enough...the dimwit comes through...poof. Kill #2.

By now...most players who get spanked this hard are gonna start thinking..."wow...I gotta spend alittle time learning about Agro timers". Nope...not this guy.

So...as i'm scooping up the loot from the second kill...I see his little pod go back through the gate.
Hmmm...where could he be going? I follow. When I get through the gate, he's not in system. Strange. Then it dawns on me...the tard is going to go buy another ship! rofl...HE'S GOING TO RENS!!!! OMG...no, please tell me this guy isn't THAT stupid.

So...I burn towards Rens. I wait in the neighboring system...yep, you guessed it, at the gate. 12 minutes later...guess who pops through the gate in a shiny new Domi (hopefully insured...numbnuts) Just in time and agro is still mine. Poof. Kill #3.

Yep...pretty stupid.

"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. "
Harlan Ellison
US science fiction author & screenwriter (1934 - )