Sunday, December 1, 2013

Journey to Nowhere

Journey to Nowhere – A tale of three cans

(tldr: Dudes find some immortal cans)

My Home

I live in a high sec system called Illinfrik. Illinfrik has been my home for….well…forever. I do not really move around a lot. Sure, I clone jump down to low for fun and exploration from time to time. However, my EVE existence really revolves around the Heimatar region. I trade, run PI, Ninja, PVP, PVE, explore, salvage, scam, manufacture, etc. I have a typical hi-sec existence. I have been doing this since ~2007. Since I live in one spot, you get to know the neighborhood. The people, the places, the planets, the stations - all peculiar to Illinfrik. My system is unique, however. It has three cans.

WTF cans

What the fuck are you talking about Sark? Three cans?!? Yes. Three friggin’ cans. They have been here forever. At least as long as I can remember my “forever”…which is only 6ish years. How do regular Large Standard Containers last forever in a .8 sec system? We cannot anchor in .8 sec and above. Sure, secure containers anchored have a 30-day limit, which is reset when you open it; thereby being “permanent”. But regular containers in a .8 sec system? I do not fucking know.


They Taunt Me

You can only see them on D-scan – Max Range. They exist. They are there – out there - somewhere. In addition, they call to me. They taunt me. They are named: :::::ninja:::::. All three of them! This is my system….fyi. Who put cans named NINJA in my system? How have they existed all this time? Who put them there? What is IN them? [drool starts now] They are not secure – I can haz da contents. Is it a game bug? Are they “supposed” to be there – a gift from clever Devs long departed? Who knows? Who the fuck knows!

“Shh…Out dare, past dem trees…you see it? I see you!”

:::::ninja::::: cans…I see you.


I have been in the trough of a non-eve playing stint. I log in to keep my skills going. That is about it, though. My alliance withered away. My Corp evaporated in part to crimewatch changes/college back in session. My co-worker (IRL) who I got hooked into EVE (you are welcome CCP), bugs me incessantly…LOG IN Bitch! Sigh…I was not motivated to.

Make Your Own Content

My co-worker also needed a change of pace. The life of a merc can get boring too. As we were throwing ideas out like: “Let’s go live in a wormhole and suck gas, dude!” Or, “should we ninja in Null using the new Mobile Depot and siphons?” Black Ops kinda shit. Then it hit me. Those fucking cans. Could we find them? Do I want to find them? Fuck yes we can find them. This is EVE. I can do what I want. Challenge Accepted.

How do you travel to Nowhere?

How do you find cans in space? Not just any cans – magic cans. Cans that do not die! Immortal cans. Immortal Magic Cans. Unsecured Immortal Magic Cans…he he. Where are these immortal cans? They are in a placed code-named – Nowhere. What is this place? A long forgotten safe spot, perhaps, used by an early ninja before “Ninjaing” became vogue? Technical problems quickly mounted. You cannot scan them down using probes. I see them. I can get close to them (if you call 8 AU close). I just cannot get there conventionally.

And here we go…

OK…so my friend takes his first crack at getting closer. Lanac later informs me…”Dude, I’m 183,900,000 from the cans.” Yippee…we’re on the right track! A little over an AU. Most excellent. He does some rough math for a frigate flying 3000 km/sec…17 hours…and we will be there. I warp to him in a frigate and start AFK traveling. SOON.

Bad at maths…

After a day of afk flying, my friend informs me…”Ooops, I miscalculated.” It will take 709 days to get there flying 24 hrs per day. Hello, year 2016. Sigh. Not soon. Fucking Lanac. j/k

My turn

Wow…what a letdown. Sitting in my frigate more than an AU away from Nowhere, I felt dejected. I made a spreadsheet to do the calculations also. The numbers were daunting. Could we go faster maybe? What if we could go 10,000km/sec? That did not help much. Nowhere was a long way away. We have to get much closer BEFORE afk flying. Doh! My friend said he would help me later after he wrote a paper for school. He stated he would try again using the same celestial BMs trick. Eureka! “That’s how you did it? Shit, why didn’t I think of that!” I have BMs all over the place…I will take a crack at it.

To get closer, I will need tools. I haz tools. My eve toolbox looks like this:
• I have D-scan. I know in which direction the cans are down to a 5-degree angle.
• I have Bookmarks. These BMs I have accumulated over my life in Illinfrik. Not just any bookmarks, wild far ones that I kept after infiltrating Mission Runners’ PVE missions. Places far above/or below the orbital plane of Illinfrik. Places out in the far reaches of planetary orbits without planets/stations. You know, Timbuktu BMs. A lot of them.
• The tactical overlay. Finding cardinal direction in EVE is not easy. Especially working well above the orbital plane, it is hard to know where you are looking. The tactical overlay works on the map also. Bonus.
• The map. The map shows “You are Here” and where all your BMs are. It also helps with spatial direction finding.
• I haz ships.
• I haz an alt.
• I haz isk.
• I haz a friend, he haz ships, he haz alt, he spendz his isk on crap, he haz no isk.

A Game of Triangles

I spent the entire next Sunday using my plethora of BMs and celestials to get closer. After many hours of crazy back and forth warping, BM’ing, solar dead reckoning, spatial orienteering, and creative use of triangles, I was making progress. As he wrote his college paper, I gave constant status updates. We were getting excited as the day wore on…”Less than an AU!” Holy shit. D-scan did not lie. 97 million! Half hour later…34.2 million! Single fucking digit million! RAWR! Then the end result of a day of fruitful searching. A BM 1,900,000kms away from Nowhere. Wow. Just fucking wow. Open the spreadsheet – 4ish days of afk flying at 3000 km/sec. Nowhere is close. Very close.

We now have “Launch Point Alpha”…The journey to Nowhere begins.

The Ship

To travel the remaining distance we would need a ship. Not any old ship. We would need a fast one – very fast. The faster, the better. A fast, afk ship would also need to be cap stable. With Loki boosts, this ship would be our only hope of reaching Nowhere. [Commence EFT warrioring!] We looked at frigates and interceptors. The final choice was the Imperial Navy Slicer. A frigate with a cruiser MWD that’s cap stable. BAM. Now it is time to build the Speed Demon.

[Imperial Navy Slicer, Speed]

Micro Auxiliary Power Core II
Micro Auxiliary Power Core II
Micro Auxiliary Power Core II
Micro Auxiliary Power Core II
Capacitor Power Relay II

Republic Fleet 10MN Microwarpdrive (uses less cap)
Cap Recharger II

[empty high slot]
[empty high slot]
[empty high slot]

Small Ancillary Current Router II
Small Ancillary Current Router II
Small Ancillary Current Router I

Implants (for the cap issues)
EO-603 Cap Recharge implant
HS-903 High Speed Maneuvering

She goes 8819 km/s with my skills and Loki boosts. That’s 2.7 days of AFK flying to Nowhere. [Muah ha ha]

AFK Flying

Now the boring part. The next day, I fleet my boosting Loki and the Speed Demon and travel to Launch Point Alpha. Links are spinning, Captain! I use D-scan to find Nowhere within 5-degrees. I then point the Speed Demon frigate in that direction and hit the MWD. Woosh…she leaves the boosting Loki in the dust – headed for Nowhere. And then I go to work… Slowly, but surely, I creep closer to Nowhere. Somewhere along the line, I lose client connection. Home for lunch, I have to restart the exploration team and begin anew the AFK flying. Downtime kills my journey again the next morning. Closer. Closer.

Overall, the client timeouts prove to be annoying and prolong the journey. I should cover ~700,000 Kms a day, but I do not obtain that result. Luckily, when I log back in, the emergency warp brings me back to the last place, so I just continue from there. I have to find the landmark to get the 5-degree lock-in again. I know my view of the Nebula by heart now. Just to the right of those three faint stars.

The fucking anticipation is killing me. I cannot sleep. I sit and look a screen. The “low capacitor” warning beeps as the Speed Demon is only 35% stable and repeatedly breaks the capacitor warning threshold. Beep. Beep. Beep. ….

Lanac and I, at work, gleefully surmise what is in those cans. [Chattering like little girls] “What if it’s an Easter Egg, that nobody has bothered to find!!!” “What if we are the first to discover something that has been in the game all along!!!” “We’ll be e-famous” “People will recognize us at conventions!!! – shhh…Those are the two guys that found the first space eggs! Do you think they’d give me their signature?” lol “What if they are empty?” “Fuuuuuuuuuck no! They have to have something in them!” “They are magic immortal cans, for Pete’s sake!”

The Event Horizon

On Nov. 19st, the night of the Rubicon Patch, Lanac and I log in for the final push. We’re 5ish hours out. Lanac made me swear they we would both “enter” the grid of Nowhere together and open the treasure box. I can’t wait to see the three little diamond icons on my overview and an actual range to the immortal cans on my D-scan. I soooo want to Show Info to see who dropped them. Who owns these bad boys? Does he/she still play? Can I convo the owner to get answers to all my questions? Lanac does some more “triangle magic” while I fly. He whittles the distance down even more, ever refining his BMs to get closer. He knocks our flying time down considerably. At about 50,000 kms, the Map/BM system cannot get you closer. We calculate the edge of the grid to Nowhere at about 9:15pm local. Anxiously, Speed Demon and Lanac’s Dramiel approach Nowhere. We are close, within 1000s of kilometers. Our speed now is a hindrance, we are so fast and the piloting controls are not precise, we clip off the trail quite easily. We have to correct trajectory constantly. D-scan clocks downward…ever so close.

Welcome to Nowhere

And…BAM, we enter grid of the cans! SUCCESS! There they are…three little diamonds, all clumped together. ”Show Info” on the cans - they belong to a toon named [redacted], a 2011 toon in a NPC corp. We look inside the cans…and nothing. WHAT?!! Lol. We add the guy to our contact list and take screen caps, etc. We also add a corp BM called Nowhere.


We both talked about the accomplishment and the techniques we discovered using BMs, D-scan and the map. It was like spatial orienteering and Geocaching rolled into one. More importantly, we had fun. Which brings me to a realization? Could this be a new sort of content for EVE that CCP could develop? Places you cannot get to easily? “Lost Sites”?!?

A treasure box that takes you days to hunt for and travel to. Could the treasure box get more valuable the longer it sits in space? Everyday it exists, at downtime, the loot table gets more valuable? It’s a space race…he/she who gets there first, wins. The only way to find it…D-scan, creative bookmarking, and flying. Opens up a whole new class of ship…Deep spacefarers!?! Fast little suckers that can micro jump 5000 kms maybe.

What could you find in these “Lost Sites”…

A belt of rare ore, ice or gas not normally found in your region.
A strange relic site with automated defenses. Hack the site? The weapons platforms now won’t shoot at you. To keep the weapons charged…you feed them human corpses.
A den of some new form of space life…A Space Monster. Kill the monster, you get a bounty from the “weapons R&D scientists”.
An abandoned Pirate base to explore
A wrecked ship of a long gone capsuleer…
A mine field…(chance of great wealth or destruction)
A warp gate to…
A working refinery
A working research lab
A working manufacturing site
A wormhole to…

I’m sure the EVE community can think up many more things to find that were “lost”.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Re-negotiation....squeeze 'em

When negotiating, information is power.

[ 2012.01.11 22:43:39 ] Urkal > tag you it :)
[ 2012.01.11 22:43:44 ] CJ Anderson > are you bored or something?
[ 2012.01.11 22:43:48 ] Urkal > yea
[ 2012.01.11 22:43:54 ] CJ Anderson > seems like
[ 2012.01.11 22:44:10 ] Urkal > just going to steal your mission item and sell it back to you
[ 2012.01.11 22:45:14 ] CJ Anderson > wow... never heard of this strategy before...
[ 2012.01.11 22:45:45 ] CJ Anderson > but when i dont shoot the guys there will be no item for you
[ 2012.01.11 22:46:02 ] Urkal > yea true ill get corpies to run it
[ 2012.01.11 22:46:07 ] Urkal > and take them if you log off
[ 2012.01.11 22:46:12 ] Urkal > so your stuck with me
[ 2012.01.11 22:46:44 ] Urkal > ill stop stealing when i get enough isk to buy a bigger ship
[ 2012.01.11 22:47:12 ] CJ Anderson > 2y old toon with no money?
[ 2012.01.11 22:47:26 ] CJ Anderson > congratulations
[ 2012.01.11 22:47:27 ] Urkal > yea i havent been playing straight just on breaks
[ 2012.01.11 22:47:45 ] Urkal > and stealing doesnt make much
[ 2012.01.11 22:48:07 ] CJ Anderson > so, why youre doing it, when its not profitable?[ 2012.01.11 22:48:21 ] Urkal > nothing else to do
[ 2012.01.11 22:48:24 ] Urkal > bordem
[ 2012.01.11 22:48:37 ] CJ Anderson > we had that already...
[ 2012.01.11 22:48:39 ] Urkal > its fun to not know if you are going to die or not
[ 2012.01.11 22:49:14 ] CJ Anderson > k, get your mates here, and do my mission
[ 2012.01.11 22:49:21 ] CJ Anderson > i'll take the standing hit
[ 2012.01.11 22:49:36 ] Urkal > alright you have to wait till they log on
[ 2012.01.11 22:49:43 ] CJ Anderson > lol
[ 2012.01.11 22:49:45 ] Urkal > thats why im bored
[ 2012.01.11 22:49:49 ] CJ Anderson > for sure
[ 2012.01.11 22:50:05 ] CJ Anderson > im sitting here for hours with you, waiting for your friends
[ 2012.01.11 22:50:08 ] Urkal > how about a game
[ 2012.01.11 22:50:17 ] CJ Anderson > tell me
[ 2012.01.11 22:50:36 ] Urkal > you get one shot, if you do any kind of damage at all ill leave you alone for the rest of the week
[ 2012.01.11 22:50:47 ] Urkal > if you miss i get to salvage everything
[ 2012.01.11 22:50:52 ] Urkal > and you get your mission item
[ 2012.01.11 22:51:42 ] CJ Anderson > 0.0997252 rad/s are unhittable for 1400mm's -> bad deal for me
[ 2012.01.11 22:52:25 ] Urkal > what if i get some distance
[ 2012.01.11 22:52:47 ] CJ Anderson > you just have to fullstop your ship
[ 2012.01.11 22:52:58 ] CJ Anderson > do drones count too?
[ 2012.01.11 22:53:06 ] Urkal > hmm well then thats a bad deal for me too
[ 2012.01.11 22:53:17 ] Urkal > how about you drop a can with a piece of ammo
[ 2012.01.11 22:53:29 ] Urkal > and i have 10 seconds to run from your drones
[ 2012.01.11 22:53:38 ] Urkal > if they can catch me ill leave
[ 2012.01.11 22:53:45 ] CJ Anderson > meh
[ 2012.01.11 22:53:47 ] Urkal > if they cant i get the salvage everything
[ 2012.01.11 22:53:50 ] CJ Anderson > not a good game
[ 2012.01.11 22:54:12 ] Urkal > hmm
[ 2012.01.11 22:54:38 ] CJ Anderson > other deal: you get the salvage an all the loot you can carry, and i get the mission item
[ 2012.01.11 22:54:46 ] Urkal > ok lets see if i can live for 15 seconds
[ 2012.01.11 22:54:59 ] Urkal > and ill just orbit you
[ 2012.01.11 22:55:07 ] Urkal > i need to test my tank anyway
[ 2012.01.11 22:55:20 ] Urkal > you have lights right?
[ 2012.01.11 22:55:35 ] CJ Anderson > yepp
[ 2012.01.11 22:55:49 ] Urkal > dam ive never had those things sicked on me
[ 2012.01.11 22:56:27 ] Urkal > lol small arms
[ 2012.01.11 22:56:37 ] CJ Anderson > .P
[ 2012.01.11 22:57:22 ] Urkal > ready

He bites and shoots...

[ 2012.01.11 23:05:38 ] Urkal > so you can pay me 30 million isk and ill release you
[ 2012.01.11 23:08:24 ] CJ Anderson > aha, and i should trust you
[ 2012.01.11 23:08:28 ] CJ Anderson > ?
[ 2012.01.11 23:09:12 ] Urkal > yes
[ 2012.01.11 23:13:45 ] CJ Anderson > :/
[ 2012.01.11 23:14:13 ] Urkal > well i just scanned you
[ 2012.01.11 23:14:20 ] Urkal > and you have very nice gear
[ 2012.01.11 23:14:31 ] Urkal > the price just went up
[ 2012.01.11 23:14:33 ] CJ Anderson > and you have 30mill
[ 2012.01.11 23:14:40 ] Urkal > lol not now i know what you have
[ 2012.01.11 23:14:45 ] Urkal > ill be needing 100 mill

He has shineys...and Urkal wants them.

[ 2012.01.11 23:15:20 ] CJ Anderson > and after that 100 mill ?
[ 2012.01.11 23:15:23 ] CJ Anderson > 500?
[ 2012.01.11 23:15:27 ] CJ Anderson > or what?
[ 2012.01.11 23:17:01 ] CJ Anderson > ????
[ 2012.01.11 23:17:23 ] Urkal > i meant 200 mill so 100 more will be fine
[ 2012.01.11 23:17:33 ] CJ Anderson > im broken
[ 2012.01.11 23:17:39 ] CJ Anderson > nno money anymore
[ 2012.01.11 23:17:55 ] Urkal > how much you have?
[ 2012.01.11 23:18:04 ] CJ Anderson > 2000000 left6
[ 2012.01.11 23:18:06 ] CJ Anderson > left
[ 2012.01.11 23:18:14 ] Urkal > ok that will have to do
[ 2012.01.11 23:19:00 ] Urkal > now you die
[ 2012.01.11 23:24:13 ] CJ Anderson > i hope you earn a lot of money with the loot

30 + 100 + 2 million ransom + loss of ship = sad care-bear.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

A Voice of Reason is Silent...De Oppresso Liber

Your logic and words helped free the oppressed. I will miss you, Hitch.

To those who don't know of him...he was a great voice for logic and reason.

He helped coin the word "Hitch-slap". (When someone uses undeniable logic to crush the breath out of his opposing debater)

To see his brilliance, watch these vidoes in this youtube channel:
My favorite quotes:

“What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof.”

"The person who is certain, and who claims divine warrant for his certainty, belongs now to the infancy of our species."

"Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way."

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Miner Miner 49'er

Communication can be confusing is space...take for example the story of 36crazyfists. He was in a Drake doing a mission. I warp in and start doing the ninja thing...

Then this pops into local:

36crazyfists > Sarkor Nafaar: please don't take the miners
36crazyfists > thx know me...I took some of the miners...not all of them...some. Just enough to assist him in failing the mission. He was thankful and warped away. (he didn't count them...obviously.)

I continue to loot....HOLY F&*$....looks what's in this can!?! A Miner I. Bad naughty ninja brain cells start a turnin'. Time for a trap. I clear the entire field of loot except for that lone Miner I module...I warp back to base to get the Rapier.

Incoming Message!!!!

36crazyfists > I left 4 miners out there
36crazyfists > did you happen to grab them?
Sarkor Nafaar > I left the Miner per your instructions... [See wat i did there....lulz]
36crazyfists > Cool I'm warping back out there. Thanks
36crazyfists > i'm gonna be grinding misisons and you are more than welcome to salvage them

I'm watching in my Rapier as he motors to the lone can in space...containing the Miner I. Classic.

36crazyfists > oh I need troubled miners
36crazyfists > 4 of them not the miner lol my fault
Sarkor Nafaar > you said
36crazyfists > i know

I decloak and drop the 4 x Miners and warp away.

I warp back to station to get Ganka-saurus. Now I know this guy is going to take the bait...

[Newbie Logic Routine Start]

Ninja invades my mission: Check
Ninja steals everything in mission: Check
Ninja just happens to be back in my mission: Check
Ninja uncloaks in a Rapier: Check
Nice Ninja kindly returns my Mission Drop: Check
Ninja warps off: Check
All is well: Check

[End Newbie Logic Routine]

I have to guess where he's gonna go after he loots the miners. I pick Frarn gate. I warp there and jump through. Now I wait for my new blinky red friend to emerge...It's a 50/50 shot here. Does he mission out of Balgina or does he live in Frarn.

36crazyfists > thanks again
Sarkor Nafaar > kk

And boy oh boy is he surprised to get scrammed by a Typhoon...and come the torps. What's this? Ogre this is not really fun for him.

36crazyfists > why you have to go and do that
36crazyfists > now I gotta quit that mission
36crazyfists > should have know it be some crap like that
Sarkor Nafaar > cuase i'm a ninja....that's kinda what we do
36crazyfists > i don't mind the lose of the ship
36crazyfists > i'm just tired of missions
Sarkor Nafaar > yeah...missions suck
Sarkor Nafaar > pvp....much more fun
36crazyfists > don't have many sp
36crazyfists > would you be willing to sell those
Sarkor Nafaar > don't need sp for pvp...
Sarkor Nafaar > i'll put them up on a .01 contract
Sarkor Nafaar > stand by
36crazyfists > k
36crazyfists > I admire your tactics.
36crazyfists > being a ninja seems fun
Sarkor Nafaar > 12 miners many for that mission?
36crazyfists > 17
Sarkor Nafaar > poo
36crazyfists > yup 17
36crazyfists > sure I can find some on the market
Sarkor Nafaar > kk
36crazyfists > anyways nice to meet ya

He got his precious Mission Loot. I got the Miner I all his stuffz.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The New CCP

I'm liking this new CCP. After literally getting the snot bitch-slapped out of their heads by the player-base, this new, freshly flogged CCP is certainly winning the hearts and minds of the players. The list of new & cool stuff coming is quite impressive. I, for one, am excited. CCP Soundwave just asked players for more ideas to implement... orly? Just "asking" is filled with WIN. +1 CCP...keep it up.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Ninja Resources to make isk

When new Ninjas come into my Corp...I find myself spending alot of time teaching them how to make isk in the game. Here's a small summary on how to make money as a ninja.

Ninja Resources:

Market Orders. Everyone in game can sell things from day one. I think everyone gets 5 market orders to start.(?) A ninja that doesn't understand the market is a dumb ninja. (I was one...then I taught myself how to use it) If you have a market order slot that is being un-used...(buying or selling), it's an isk-making resource going to waste. Learn how to buy/sell things. Ninjas end up with stuff...from stealing, salvaging, scamming etc. Learn to sell smart. If you blindly just sell stuff, you just got ninja'd yourself...maybe from me. Learn how the market works. I trade in my region. All my trades get 100%+ return/margin. Minimum! Yes...minimum. (I'm not station trading...I do have to haul) I basically steal/ninja from the lazy or dumb sellers in my region.

Security Status. Your security status is a pile of isk waiting to be unlocked. You can build/replenish your security status by...wait for it..."stealing" security status. I steal security status every time I'm in my ninja vigil. The vigil has a drone bay...which can hold the best security status maker devised: The Warrior I drone. I use the drone to do damage to nice juicy NPC pirates my MR targets are attacking. Score a few hits on the NPC BS, and when the MR kills said BS, you get security status. Now, that you have it, how do you make isk? Suicide Ganking! How much can you make? This much.

Contracts. Same as market orders...I think you get a few as a new character. If you have un-used contracts that aren't up...wasted resource. However, this money making requires capital. Contract scamming is pretty painless and free money from the lazy/dumb in the game. I always have contracts up. Whether they are for selling faction gear or scams...always have a bunch up.

PI. PI was it's better. Couple of clicks a day, harvest your P2 product once a month. Profit. ROI from the couple of days of training those skills pays off in the 1st month. .5 systems or less only. Requires "selling" on the market.

R&D Agents: Basically free money. Get RPs, Trade for Datacores. Sell. If you don't have an R&D agent, get one. Requires "selling"...see a pattern here? The market is your friend.

What's the result of all of the above?...I play for free. I trade isk for a Plex every month. And that makes me happy.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Ping Pong

Had a carebear shoot me in a Maelstrom. Instead of warping to safety in a station to wait out the inevitable 2 hour long extentions (I never tire), the brilliant player thought he could evade the ninjas of Sect Or by warping between two safe spots. This didn't work too well. I called for reinforcements from the local ninjas...everyone jumped into their Cheetahs to lock this guy down. Well, he evaded for about 40 minutes...until Urkal got a 100% hit and warped cloaked to see what was going on. Sure enough, here he came. Warped in - and then warped out. Just to check...Urkal stayed cloaked and watched him come back. Urkal called me in when he left. I showed up at his safe and waited. Sure enough...Dscan lit up with a Maelstrom. He landed right on my head. You can guess what happened. Scratch one Mael...yeah! for shipbuilders everywhere. No tears from said carebear, even tough that was a tears worthy event for him.