My first Ransom....[pats self on back]

Warp to this BS Mission site...all alone...start to salv/loot...in pops a Scythe. Scan him...he's harmless with salvs/tractors...I keep going. I get close and he launches a drone at me. I speed away...all the while...continuing to loot. [select all/drag to cargo] [rinse/repeat]

He convos me and says...hey...don't take my mission drop. Mission drop you say...Hmmm...this sparks my interest. This is like telegraphing a punch in an MMA fight. Don't do that. Bad things happen.

What the heck...check my cargohold. What's this...Archive Passkey?!? I link it to him and he really starts to whine and squirt tears. Epic Arc...He's gotta have it....boo hoo. I extracted 4 million from him. I probably could have gotta more, but I was happy to reach this milestone.

Cha-ching!

The War has ended...

Well...we were war dec'd by someone we had stolen/salvaged from. Imagine that...we hurt someone's feeling. This furry tear-maker convinced his merry band of tards to "destroy" us. "The Scary Door" was our enemy.

Wow...underwhelming, to say the least. Within 24 hours, we knew everything about their corp. (thxs to the Internets!) We knew who was in the corp, found their website, found their killboard, deducted there skills/ship capabilities, knew their hunting grounds, analyzed when they played (from their kills/loss times), etc., etc. We enacted a few "top secret" tactics and began our campaign against them. Since we can't field a credible fighting force yet, we went with what I know best...guerrilla tactics. (and my wife said I'd never use my Green Beanie skills again...bah) Needless to say...we toyed with them. We gave them targets to shoot...operating freely from our base. We even un-docked a Mammoth for them to try to kill. As it slowly turned 180 degrees (takes a maddeningly long time), they tried, with all their might, to kill it. (Warp core stabs filled the lows...har!) Away it went...wow...that created alot of tears and embarrassment.

After two weeks of constant demoralization, they quit the war. They camped us mercilessly. Killed nothing. Shot at us routinely. Taunted us without response. (Radio Listening Silence) We gave them nothing, but we feasted on their un-fulfilled rage.

Bottomline: They ain't too scary.

Success!!!

LOL...we got war dec'd. Yeah for the home team! Gotta be doing something right.

Due to Corp OPSEC rules...we cannot comment on war activities or stories. But, dang...they are seriously funny.

WTFWHEREDIDMAHOREGO?

The scourge of the system...aptly named: WTFWHEREDIDMAHOREGO. A hauler designed to warp on top of a jetcan, take ALL the ore in it, and warp away...time on station: 2 secs. Found this on battleclinic: http://eve.battleclinic.com/loadout/28484-Mammoth-wtfwhostolemyore.html

This thing is pretty funny...I can't fly a Mammoth yet, but my Hoarder does just as well.

Was bored and flying around laying waste to Jetcan'ers, when I came across a crafty miner. She saw me come in and take a full load of ore. 6591 m3...sports fans! Yarr!

No tears in local...huh?!? Afk miner? So, what the heck...lots of ore in that can...lets go for another round. Warp back in, right on top of the can, setting up for another "full load" theft. Where did she go? Don't care...

[Aligning to base...right click, select all...drag to my cargo...]

BOOM! In warps...i'm guessing, a bad-ass Rifter to teach me a lesson. [Mash Warp button harder] In comes the scram...nada. Warp Core stabilizer ftw! Away I go...

She's obviously pissed...in local, she begs me to come back...

Being a douchebag that I am...[Warp to 0]

[I see you - dopey miner in a Rifter!]

Rinse/Repeat: Warp In, Align, Fill-up the hold, no more can...you lose, War...p!

BOOM!...another scram attempt. Har! 2x Core Stabs FTW. Warp away successful!

All she said in local was..."Ah, you have two points...sigh" Guess that scrambler she quickly fitted didn't work so well...dee dee dee.

Yep...another successful day of preying on the stupid.