Save me the trouble...

So...I scan down a Machariel in a Worlds Collide mission...and start taking his stuff. I'm alittle nervous if he shoots, don't know if my gankboat is up to the task of taking this big thing down...and no corpies around to lend RR support.

Then to my horror...one of the NPC frigates scrams him...strange!?! Why wouldn't you kill those first? Um...he's going....going...BOOM. Wow...I just watched some tard lose a billion+ isk ship. ROFL!

So...me thinks to myself..."Sark, what kind of modules does a Machariel have?" [simultaneuosly directing my Vigil to the slagheap of his really expensive wreck]

Muah ha ha...MINE MINE MINE

FACTION LOOTZ!

To add insult to injury...I send the guy a mail to add salt to the wound and try for some tears...



Salvage Bill - PO# 3456543
From: Sarkor Nafaar
Sent: 2010.01.21 02:05
To: Vasani,

Dear Sir/Ma'am:

Please remit the sum of 20million isk for service rendered:

-Hazardous Waste Disposal: (Live ammo left from Machariel destroyed) 5million
-Salvage Service: Disposl of clutter from mission site 5million
-Module Reclamation (3x Faction Cannons, 2x Faction Gyrostabs) 5million
-Navigation Hazard Marking and Buoy Rental: 5million

Please make checks payable to:

SECT OR Salvage Services, Inc.
Illinfrik
Pator Station

Sigh...no tears, but lots o' isk in my wallet.

You want what?

A refund? What?!?...you got to be kidding, dude. Check out his guy:

--------------------------------
killed after paying ransom
From: Hostile Jones
Sent: 2010.01.05 18:06
To: Sarkor Nafaar,

ONE OF YOUR PIRITES HELD ME FOR RANSOM TODAY 20 MIL ISK I PAID THEN HE KILLED ME ANYWAY HIS NAME IS URKAL. sorry for caps ay any rate is that the reputation your corp wants that even if you pay ransom they kill you i lost around 50 mil in isk from ship plus the 20 mil i paid him not alot but still 70 mil is 70 mil isk i would like it if you have him pay me 70 mil thanks
Hostile Jones

Ps was thinking of joining but I will only join a pirate corp that has dignity i hope you do.

____________________
Re: killed after paying ransom
From: Sarkor Nafaar
Sent: 2010.01.06 01:21
To: Hostile Jones,

Hi Mr. Hostile

I regret to inform you we have no pirates in this corp. We are a thieving corp. All members of the corp are thieves. Urkal is a thief. I am a thief. We are all thieves here.

Here is how professions stack up in EVE.

Carebear Group:
Miners
Researchers
Industrialists
Scientists
Mission Runners
Explorers
------------------
Semi-bad folks:
0.0 PVPers
Low-Sec PVPers
FW Players
Logistics Support
----------------
Bad Folks:
Pirates
Red Folks
Gankers
Suiciders
----------------
The Scum and Detritus:
Thieves (Ninjas)

As you can see...Pirates are nice folks compared to thieves. As to ransom...Pirates Ransom. Pirates have Reputations. Thieves...well...we steal stuff. If we could steal someone's reputation or dignity, we would.

Urkal stole from you. You shot at him. He stole more from your wallet. Then he stole the loot from your wreck. It's our profession. That's what we do. If Urkal gave your money back, he would be a pretty sorry thief and I'd have to expel him from the corp.

So...in summary...don't shoot at a Ninja. I know it will be hard...with a name like Hostile, but you should really try not to shoot at folks. You were the architect of your own demise.

Have a great EVE cycle...Sark

BOOM...our first kills

OK....I like PVP. Just got my first kills tonight. Our resident trouble maker, Urkal, got shot at and asked for RR support...I got my really poorly trained Ruppy and warped off to assist. He had a BC pinned down, but couldn't break his tank (because we're soo newbie still)...it was just a matter of time before Urkal's BS would have to retreat. Then the MR thought it would be a great idea to sic his drones on me. Um...now he's got two Ninjas that can shoot him. So I warp off to get my newbie Tech I BS. As I'm changing out my ship, a rifter comes to the aid of the BC MR stoopie who has bit off more than he can chew. Another Ninja shows up to keep Urkal's BS alive until I get back. I come back and add my DPS to the fight. 2xBS = the BC pops...then my heavy drones absolutely crush the Rifter. Wow...my heart was beating out of my chest. So much fun!

Here's the chat:

Urkal > if anyone doesnt want to salvage there mission ill do it for you and split it 50/50

[Urkal's patented..."invite me to your fleet and I'll steal all yo shit" ploy. After two months...people still fall for it...like tkaz1599 yesterday]

Marius Krolyk > Might want ot be carefull aboiut trying to loot wrecks from someone flying a drone boat

[He actually starts talking smack as he chases Urkal's Vigil away....ooops, the NEENJAHS return and ATTACK!]

Marius Krolyk > Wow took you a while and took 3 of ya.
Urkal > Tears.... mmmmmm..... Tears
Urkal > wana rep me
Urkal > ?
tkaz1599 > wow u n ur cloaker? [Urkal's earlier victim]
Marius Krolyk > Nah but takes a big man to call in 2 other pilots to take down a mission fitted bc in highsect
kaz1599 > hahaha lol
Marius Krolyk > Pretty lulzy
tkaz1599 > yah he cloaked himself and ganked me yesterday lol took a ganked typhoon to take my hurricane
Faytar > so let me get this straight then - you both still got ganked and it was by people who suck - what's that say about you?
Marius Krolyk > Hmmmm 3 pvp fitted ships vs a mission fitted bc..........
Marius Krolyk > Doesn't take much skill
Marius Krolyk > Sorry I did have help
Marius Krolyk > A rifter with no ammo
Marius Krolyk > lol
Faytar > lol - we haven't even fully trained half the skills needed to put up a fight
Faytar > you got ganked by the 3 stooges dude
Faytar > our rr ships ran out of cap in like 30 secs
Marius Krolyk > Yeah pretty much 3 stooges who apparently fail at math. 3>1

[Guess he forgot that he started the cascade of events by shooting, not one, but two ninjas! Stoopie! He was the designer of his own demise.]

Faytar > you mean .33+.33+.33 = 1
Marius Krolyk > And 3 PvP fits > 1 pve fit in pvp fight
Marius Krolyk > Granted if you jump into a fair fight you're doing it wrong but picking out folks in mission space is pretty damn low
Marius Krolyk > Hmmmm and my freebie ship is bugged. Great night for me I see
Faytar > all the current guidance is pretty clear - don't shoot ninjas unless you are ready and willing to get ganked, triple teamed, etc...
Marius Krolyk > Blah blah blah
Urkal > omg stop crying i cant eat anymore tears
Faytar > lol
Marius Krolyk > Wow you are so desperate for tears you are fabricating them
Marius Krolyk > Scroll back and try to comprehend (difficult I konw). And pat yourself on the back for needing 3 people to take out 1. And not even a gank kill. That crap when pretty damn slow
Marius Krolyk > My corpie switched ships and took 3 gates to get here
Marius Krolyk > And he didn't even bring any ammo!
Marius Krolyk > Which that was just full of win on his part BTW
Sarkor Nafaar > isn't that the definition of a tard?
Faytar > lol - he was nearly as effective as me and Sarkor and our 30 sec rep ships
Marius Krolyk > I'd like to disagreee but......
Faytar > lol
Marius Krolyk > Hell all he brought was a webber
Sarkor Nafaar > well...i know i got to train some more repair skills...those reppers ate some serious cap
Faytar > I think I repped one volley
Marius Krolyk > Yeah which is why I was hoping my corpie had a nos or destabilizer loaded........
Marius Krolyk > But alas
Faytar > it's kinda like I didn't repair him as much as I shined his windows
Sarkor Nafaar > yeah...that woulda hurt us big time

Granted these guys weren't the most stellar players in the world...we still were victorious. As I look back though, a Tech 2 BC player and some real help from a corpie who didn't forget ammo woulda probably kicked our asses...NINJA LUCK was on our side.

My first Ransom....[pats self on back]

Warp to this BS Mission site...all alone...start to salv/loot...in pops a Scythe. Scan him...he's harmless with salvs/tractors...I keep going. I get close and he launches a drone at me. I speed away...all the while...continuing to loot. [select all/drag to cargo] [rinse/repeat]

He convos me and says...hey...don't take my mission drop. Mission drop you say...Hmmm...this sparks my interest. This is like telegraphing a punch in an MMA fight. Don't do that. Bad things happen.

What the heck...check my cargohold. What's this...Archive Passkey?!? I link it to him and he really starts to whine and squirt tears. Epic Arc...He's gotta have it....boo hoo. I extracted 4 million from him. I probably could have gotta more, but I was happy to reach this milestone.

Cha-ching!

The War has ended...

Well...we were war dec'd by someone we had stolen/salvaged from. Imagine that...we hurt someone's feeling. This furry tear-maker convinced his merry band of tards to "destroy" us. "The Scary Door" was our enemy.

Wow...underwhelming, to say the least. Within 24 hours, we knew everything about their corp. (thxs to the Internets!) We knew who was in the corp, found their website, found their killboard, deducted there skills/ship capabilities, knew their hunting grounds, analyzed when they played (from their kills/loss times), etc., etc. We enacted a few "top secret" tactics and began our campaign against them. Since we can't field a credible fighting force yet, we went with what I know best...guerrilla tactics. (and my wife said I'd never use my Green Beanie skills again...bah) Needless to say...we toyed with them. We gave them targets to shoot...operating freely from our base. We even un-docked a Mammoth for them to try to kill. As it slowly turned 180 degrees (takes a maddeningly long time), they tried, with all their might, to kill it. (Warp core stabs filled the lows...har!) Away it went...wow...that created alot of tears and embarrassment.

After two weeks of constant demoralization, they quit the war. They camped us mercilessly. Killed nothing. Shot at us routinely. Taunted us without response. (Radio Listening Silence) We gave them nothing, but we feasted on their un-fulfilled rage.

Bottomline: They ain't too scary.

Success!!!

LOL...we got war dec'd. Yeah for the home team! Gotta be doing something right.

Due to Corp OPSEC rules...we cannot comment on war activities or stories. But, dang...they are seriously funny.

WTFWHEREDIDMAHOREGO?

The scourge of the system...aptly named: WTFWHEREDIDMAHOREGO. A hauler designed to warp on top of a jetcan, take ALL the ore in it, and warp away...time on station: 2 secs. Found this on battleclinic: http://eve.battleclinic.com/loadout/28484-Mammoth-wtfwhostolemyore.html

This thing is pretty funny...I can't fly a Mammoth yet, but my Hoarder does just as well.

Was bored and flying around laying waste to Jetcan'ers, when I came across a crafty miner. She saw me come in and take a full load of ore. 6591 m3...sports fans! Yarr!

No tears in local...huh?!? Afk miner? So, what the heck...lots of ore in that can...lets go for another round. Warp back in, right on top of the can, setting up for another "full load" theft. Where did she go? Don't care...

[Aligning to base...right click, select all...drag to my cargo...]

BOOM! In warps...i'm guessing, a bad-ass Rifter to teach me a lesson. [Mash Warp button harder] In comes the scram...nada. Warp Core stabilizer ftw! Away I go...

She's obviously pissed...in local, she begs me to come back...

Being a douchebag that I am...[Warp to 0]

[I see you - dopey miner in a Rifter!]

Rinse/Repeat: Warp In, Align, Fill-up the hold, no more can...you lose, War...p!

BOOM!...another scram attempt. Har! 2x Core Stabs FTW. Warp away successful!

All she said in local was..."Ah, you have two points...sigh" Guess that scrambler she quickly fitted didn't work so well...dee dee dee.

Yep...another successful day of preying on the stupid.