Saturday, August 7, 2010

Double Tap



What's better than killing a carebear?

Killing two carebears at the same time!

Double Tap. Pow...Pow! Pow...Pow!

I've gotten a few double kills lately...one right after the other. These are very exhilrating...quite the heart-pounding fun.

The first was a Tengu/Tempest combo:

Tengu
Tempest

and the most recent was a Abaddon/Domi kill:

Abaddon
Domi

In both cases, the second kill came from a feeble attempt to save the first carebear via RR. This, as you can see, turns out badly for the RR Hero.

There is a misconception among carebears that they are safe amongst friends and that they can win a fight against a PVP ship. Not often does that occur.

Next up...try to kill 3 carebears at a time!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Memory...it's kinda important


Pop Quiz Time!!!! Ready?

Question #1: What happens to a carebear that "forgets" that he shot a "ninja" two hours prior?

Answer: Badness. Like in..."you die, byatch"...badnesss.


So...this nimrod...AKA Carebear, shoots Van Drakk...then leaves the mission.
And the system.
And the region.

Time and distance = safety, right? (2 Hours + a bunch of jumps away = Hi Sec Bliss)

Van Drakk...however, relishes the "hunting" aspect of the kill. It's called "Over-zealous, Relentless Pursuit of the Gank." The Drakkster extends on the target for two hours+.

Um...like that's crazy sick. Demented. I mean...move on...look for easier prey. Extends for 2+ hours...gah, really?!? What warped "sicko" does that!?!

(Oh yeah...we do!!!!!)

While the Drak is busy using Secret Ninja Tricks...Urkal flys around looking for this guy.

And flys.

And flys.

And Flys. System after system.

Urkal finally locates him...many jumps away. Succcess!!!

However, Urkal can't zero in on this guy using his Cov Ops scanner (sooo many carebears). And time is running out. So he tries for a more direct...sneaky...approach. "Use the Carebear against himself."

Like hunting Elk...Urkal uses a "mating call" to bring the Carebear (they are dumb as a stump, don't ya know) into shooting range. No Carebear can resist this primal, in-grained urge to...MISSION...it's in their DNA!

Urkal > Hello Azzerone, i was wondering if you could help me with something m8
Urkal > I'm in sort of a pinch on this mission in avesber and i came looking for some help
Urkal > if you could help me finish this mission i'll give you some isk, i really need the loyalty points
Azzerone > what level&
Urkal > lvl 4
Urkal > id
Urkal > give you about 10 milllion
Urkal > its the gist extravaganza
Urkal > we can do the bonus room if you like
Azzerone > no need - lets go, ill c what i can do, but im doin 3lv now\
Urkal > alright sounds good
Azzerone > fleet me

Bah ha ha ....so Van Drakk makes haste to get to the target's system. All the while, Urkal stalls...

Well, as you can imagine...this doesn't end well for our intrepid, good samaritan Carebear. He gets fleet warped to Planet 1 where a salivating Van Drakk waits in a Gank ship.

"Come to Papa!"


Urkal > you ready for fleet warp?
Azzerone > sure
Azzerone > where r u
Urkal > im in my scanner ill put you there
Urkal > then ill get my battleship
Urkal > whered you go?
Urkal > :) thanks
Azzerone > ok

Ransom time....

[09:03:54] Van Drakk > 50 mil and ill let you go
[09:03:59] Azzerone > ok
[09:04:08] Van Drakk > pay and ill stop
[09:04:13] Azzerone > stop shootin im not even targetin
[09:04:19] Van Drakk > k i stopped
[09:04:37] Azzerone > how would i know
[09:04:45] Van Drakk > im a man of my word
[09:04:56] Azzerone > we ll see
[09:05:06] Van Drakk > hurry man
[09:05:09] Van Drakk > or ill shoot again
[09:05:12] Van Drakk > you have 10 seconds
[09:05:30] Van Drakk > fly safe
Oh noes...Betrayal!

Death ensues.
[09:05:39] Van Drakk > and my advice would be
[09:05:41] Van Drakk > to never
[09:05:42] Van Drakk > ever
[09:05:46] Van Drakk > shoot a fuckin ninja
[09:06:05] Azzerone > i hadnt
[09:06:12] Azzerone > u r a hore
[09:06:50] Van Drakk > tears nom nom
[09:07:28] Azzerone > i dont care really)
[09:07:34] Van Drakk > that's nice

Urkal...polite as ever.

Urkal > thanks for your help
Azzerone > sure dick
Urkal > well fly safer

Another notch in the Carebear hunting rifle...